Many people try to paint him with broad strokes.

The FBI called him one of their most wanted.

CNN called him a Jihadist rapper.

Fellow jihadis call him a hero: those were the same people that later killed him.

He called himself Abu Mansoor al-Amriki.

To me, Omar Hammami was a kid. I met him when I was first introduced to my husband to be. In those days my husband, Omar and a few other convert brothers travelled together in a pack. Omar, while one of the youngest pack members, was often the loudest and most energetic.

A scraggly-bearded teenager in thobes, Omar was a frequent guest in my home where he would chat for countless hours with my husband, share meal with us, and on occasion eagerly offer his help when we were in a bind. He was a good friend to my husband and me.

Frustration and Isolation

Many say he became radicalized after 9/11, but the process was much slower and began far before that infamous date.

Omar was not a man who snapped: he was not a sociopath. Omar was bright, magnetic and passionate about Islam and wanting to help the Muslims in any way he could. But Omar was also extremely frustrated.

After converting to Islam—the faith of his Syrian father—in high school, Omar felt increasingly isolated and lonely in his small town in Alabama where Islam was anonymous most had never heard of. Omar became increasingly angry. He was angry about what he saw as the lack of morals in American society and a lack of enthusiasm in his fellow Muslims.

His frustration and anger only grew when he faced bigotry and stereotyping after 9/11. War in Iraq and hearing his uncle’s tales of being tortured in a Syrian prison also had a profound and detrimental effect on Omar.

All of this led Omar to take a path of harshness. He became increasingly anti-American and forgot about the gentleness of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) with people who were ignorant of Islam.

He missed out on the wisdom behind the verse: {To you your religion and to me mine} (109:6). He failed to remember the patience that all Prophets had when faced with the same feelings of isolation and frustration.

Falling Prey

After high school and having entered college, Omar decided he needed to get married. Having no success in the small Islamic community in “Mobile, AL”, he moved to Canada where he had a marriage prospect. My husband and I lost touch with Omar when he moved to Canada. We only heard through his family that he married and moved to Egypt and from there to Somalia.

In reading his auto-biography, I found that Omar’s feelings of isolation and frustration never subsided. Instead Omar became increasingly blinded by these feelings and his own zeal.

To him, there were no shades of grey. Things were either Islamic and good or un-Islamic and evil. No longer did he see people as flawed and complex, he saw them as religious Muslim or disbeliever. He lost sight of the mercy and kindness and replaced it with force and fervor. In this he lost sight of the balance Islam demands.

In his experiences from Alabama to Somalia, Omar became the perfect mix of an impassioned, angry and frustrated young man. This is a mixture that many extremists seek out and use as a means to manipulate young, eager Muslims. Omar became the perfect prey.

Joining Shabaab

His migration to Somalia surprised many people. But what he did next was even more of a shock. Once in Somalia, he joined a terrorist organization called Shabaab. Omar became indoctrinated in their cause and was made to believe that by joining Shabaab he was helping to defend a Muslim country. Shabaab had other aims in mind.

Ultimately Omar woke up to Shabaab’s lack of adherence to Islam and questioned their legitimacy. Seeing that Shabaab instated heavy taxes on the already impoverish people in Somalia and used these taxes to live lavishly, Omar spoke up. Hearing Shabaab teach their combatants that killing innocent civilians was allowed, Omar had enough.

This was the end of Omar’s affiliation with Shabaab. He learned that Shabaab was not interested in setting up an equitable Islamic government where its citizens could be safe and live in peace. He learned that Shabaab was a group that wished to establish more tribalism and inequality. But it was a lesson learned too late for Omar.

His Death

A little over a year ago CNN reported that Hammami’s death crop up every few months in Somalia, only for him to resurface a short while later. But a US terrorism expert who closely follows the inner workings of al-Shabaab said he thought the current reports of the death were accurate.”

It was true. We had mourned his death many times over. Each time a report of his death would hit the news, Omar would pop up again on YouTube or Twitter to tell the FBI the claims of his death were false. After September of last year, no one has heard from him again. Omar had been murdered by Shabaab for speaking out against them.

In exposing Shabaab’s un-Islamic practices, Omar also exposed groups like them who claim Islam and forget its dictates. He showed the world that these groups use Islam as a tool to manipulate people and then twist Islam to serve their own agenda.

Omar had a good heart and a sincere desire to help the Muslims. He wanted to be a man of action but he forgot patience is a noble action.

He wanted to follow Islam strictly but forgot to be compassionate to others.

He lost the balance of Islam and fell prey to extremism.