I had a difficult experience one evening. I was stopped by a solider brandishing his gun. He ordered me to show him my identity card.

He took my card and ordered me to stay where I was. When I showed an inclination to leave, he threatened me in very impolite terms with what would happen to me if I tried to do so.

When I tell this story to anyone, I relate the experience my own vantage point which does not agree in every detail with the account given by the other party.

This is the way memory and recollection work. In the end, I went on my way peacefully and without any harm.

However, that night, my mind revisited the incident a dozen times. One time, my mind replayed the incident with all of the details that had an impact upon my feelings.

Those same details would be quite boring to anyone who was not concerned about what happened.

Sometimes my imagination would get involved and prolong the story.

Once I imagined what would have happened if the solider insisted I go with him and I was forced to stand before his commanding officer and have him rebuke me… or alternatively give me a polite apology.

Also I imagined the event ending up in blows and fisticuffs. I imagined what would have happened had things gone differently, like if I had shown gentleness and patience and smiled, putting him on the defensive through my good character.

What would have happened then? He might have pardoned me and let me off in a good manner. It might have turned into a normal discussion where he would have explained to me that I should not come by this particular route again.

One thing happened. However, every detail of what took place could have happened differently. This is where imagination comes in. It provides alternatives.

It is beneficial for me to evaluate my thinking as I replay the event in my head. This helps me to better myself. It improves my imaginative thinking skills for one thing and it also helps me realize how to better my personality and develop a different set of habits.

One of the alternative scenarios of what happened disturbed my mind while I was praying. I found myself distracted while I was bowing, rising, and prostrating due to my imagining what might have happened.

I wondered how it would have been if other people were there and saw how I got angry when I am always giving them lessons about being gentle and patient. Also I thought about how the soldier behaved as if he was personally insulted, and not for the honor of his nation and country.

Another of these imaginary scenarios came to my mind when I was about to go to sleep. It shook me up and made me break out into a sweat that lasted for five minutes.

A third time I imagined myself behaving as a perfect example of conduct. I smiled pleasantly and was gentle in my demeanor. I answered all questions promptly and patiently and suppressed my feelings of anger and resentment so that everything went smoothly.

Such behavior would have ensured everything went smoothly, even if I was an unknown person or even if I were, as some people would say, a foreigner and there was a degree of prejudice involved.

It would still have gone smoothly if I had behaved in such a way. This is because patience, self-control and polite words and body language make it difficult for the other person to act badly.

When replaying the event another time, I envisioned something I said when his superior apologized to me. I told him that the soldier did not have the right to act in that manner, even if I were not a citizen and his elder, even if I were a Bengali worker.

I caught myself. This was wrong of me. I had no right to invoke that nationality as an example of low regard.

This is inexcusable bigotry. I remember reading an article about the lives of a number of ingenious Bengali inventors and visionaries, including Nobel prize winning Muhammad Yunus, the banker to the poor who established the Grameen Bank.

It is no surprise that this nation would produce leaders of reform who would rise to the challenge of bettering the economic and social circumstances of the people. Malaysia is another example of such a nation.

One of the times I replayed the event in my mind was when I related it to my friends. This is where my valor was central to the event and my ego took center stage, where I described myself in the best of light as showing courage, patience, wit and self-control and the other person came across as an unthinking ignoramus. I beseech Allah’s grace.

How often do we recall the events of our lives? In what way can we let such recollections help us to improve the way we speak so this can impact on the way we think and conduct ourselves?

Allah says:

{A person does not utter any word without there being an observer ready [to record it].} (50: 18)

Even what we say to ourselves is recorded, even if we speak in an offhand manner without much meaning behind it. The Prophet says:

“Allah pardons what my people say within themselves as long as they do not act upon it or speak about it.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

It seems like people can be schools unto themselves, if they can only realize it and have the chance to be honest with themselves away from the prying eyes of others.

There is a lot that we can learn from within ourselves to help us cultivate our good habits and rid ourselves of what is bad.

Republished from Islam Today.