Ramadan is halfway through. Other moms on social media and our chat groups are gushing about the cute Ramadan crafts they’re doing with their kids.

You see amazing iftar delicacies that must have taken HOURS to make. You think about all the other Muslims who are getting up and taking advantage of the long hours of the night to stand in prayer and supplicate, who are halfway through reading the Quran and taking the time to reflect upon it. And then, there’s you.

Tired.

So. Tired.

Even as Ramadan was approaching you weren’t feeling terribly eager for its arrival. Behind your smile and ‘Ramadan Mubarak’ was secret dread. You feared you weren’t ready. Feared Ramadan would only weigh you down further, add difficulty to your already overwhelming life as a mother.

Now that Ramadan is already in its last half – you are worried you aren’t doing enough, that the month may pass by without you achieving the taqwa it’s intended to foster in you.

You aren’t alone (I know how you feel!) and it’s not too late insha’Allah.

There’s Nothing Wrong With You

Each woman is different and every family is different. Since you are feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, it’s important to understand why. There are aspects of motherhood so taxing, so exhausting, so stressful that moms can often be left feeling broken.

There are moments when we feel we might not be able to go on, when we look with yearning at the front door, contemplating an escape. Sometimes as much as we love being wanted, it’s also fatiguing to always be needed by someone and expected to be there.

The most active, energetic, die-hards of us super-moms (we are pretty super after all) are brought to the point of craving – to just sit down and actually do absolutely nothing without interruption. Or, to sleep for 15 hours straight – or just 8, or 7! Sleep deprivation is real.

And all that mothering and nurturing and always being ready to jump up: from our meals, from within the bathroom, even from sleep, to fulfill someone else’s needs (and wants) takes a toll. It does. It impacts everything, from our health, to our minds, to our spirituality.

We try so hard to be good at all we do, and we worry about our families, our kids’ futures and we lay out everything we’ve got.

It’s Not Just in Your Head

Sleep deprived and with almost no time to ever recuperate, we are not at fault for feeling broken! Sleep deprivation – not getting the amount of sleep your body needs –  alone is responsible for a slew of physical and psychological issues. It impairs cognitive function, emotional stability, can be as dangerous behind the wheel as alcohol, causes loss of libido, and can actually change our genes causing us to be at increased risk for heart disease, diabetes and other ailments.

But lack of sleep isn’t the only thing wreaking havoc on your mind and body, being a mom can be STRESSFUL! From striving to fulfill all of our responsibilities and trying to keep our little ones safe, healthy and happy (easily the most challenging task) many of us moms are stressed.

Worse, we’ve become so accustomed to being this way we may not even realize it. But, stress is affecting us whether we are aware of it or not. Stress, especially chronic stress, can actually lead to sleep problems. Plus, some experts believe that stress is the cause of over 90% of illnesses and disease due to the way it suppresses the immune system.

All of this and more really is taking a toll on you, and only one person can fix it. Guess who? Yup, it’s got to be you.

For God’s Sake

Amidst the constant responsibilities and work we all do as mothers, perhaps the saddest and most regrettable aspect of ourselves that suffers, is our faith, and especially our practice of our deen. The prophet Muhammad said that faith increases and decreases, and perhaps no one knows that better than a mother. Fasting in Ramadan has been prescribed for us to attain better awareness of God and the reality of our purpose, and to protect us from various types of harm.

I like the way Dalia Mogahed put it: “Synthesizing between its understood theological meaning and its linguistic origin, taqwa can best be described as the act of protecting against ethical transgressions through an active and deliberate mindfulness of God. It signifies a deepened awareness of spiritual realities, seeing the world as it truly is, with eyes unclouded by the delusions of the false idols of ego and arrogance.”

The question is, how can we benefit from Ramadan when we are already in such a slump? Moms like us can make the most of the rest of the month by making some important changes right now:

Remember that everything we do can be an act of worship with the right intention, including feeding our kids, smiling and yes, taking a nap. In fact, taking care of ourselves must be one act of worship we start right away.

Ramadan and the Road to Recovery

Ramadan isn’t intended to break us. It’s not supposed to push us to the brink of insanity or destroy our health and wellbeing. Ramadan is our ally and seeing it that way is crucial. This blessed month is actually the medicine we all need. It’s not our foe to battle and struggle against. It can be the thing that helps us get on track in all aspects of our lives.

Ramadan during the summer is notorious for disrupting sleep schedules. It’s time to accept that you’re not a ‘bad mom’ for taking a nap. Resolve to end the torture of sleep deprivation this month and do it for God. Think of it as fasting from harming yourself!

If you’re fasting from food and drink all day, it’s necessary to care about what you put in your body at night. Choose healthy foods that will replenish your body and say no to empty junk foods and drinks. Wouldn’t God be pleased with you for honoring the vessel He’s given you?

Let some things go. Taking better care of you may mean that you won’t be posting any fancy instagram photos of glorious iftar meals or impressive Eid decorations. It’s okay (and probably healthier) to simply wash some fruits to enjoy for iftar and follow that with an easy, quick meal (Search the web for quick easy meals ideas).

If you have kids over 6, give them a chart like this one to complete each day. Include some simple chores and you’ll find getting them to help out much easier when they can visualize their daily responsibilities, plus it’s a great way to make sure you aren’t the only one picking up around the house.

Reaching out and asking for help is one of the most liberating feelings. Enlist your husband, another family member or friend to help. Let them know what’s going on and that you need support. It helps to think of something specific, such as taking care of the children while you take a nap, or alternating preparing meals.

Finally, self care could never be complete without replenishing your spiritual well. Give yourself reasonable expectations, such as listening to a short surah from the Quran attentively, giving yourself an opportunity to really consider the meaning. Try this 7 minute video of Surah al-Insan to help revive your love for Allah and remind to strive for a future where there will be no more struggle, only peace.