People were rude to the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). The desert Arabs were rude to him, and he never returned their rudeness with rudeness.

He smiled in their faces. He returned their bad manners with good character. And this is what he taught us to do with people. And we have this mujahadah, we have to struggle.

When the woman, who was in the graveyard, was mourning over. The Prophet Muhammad passed by and he said:

This is a trial and you should be patient.

She said:

“You didn’t have the tribulation that I had.”

That’s how she answered him.

And he just left her.

Look at the character there! He didn’t say: “Don’t you know who I am? I’m the messenger Allah, you can’t talk to me like that…”

He saw she was in tribulation. He left her to be in her tribulation. He gave her an advice and she didn’t accept it, but he recognized her psychological state: She was in a state that it was not useful or beneficial to continue with her, and so he left her. This is wisdom (hikmah).

And then, The Prophet went to his house. Somebody came by and he said:

“Don’t you know who that man was? That was the messenger of Allah (peace be upon him).”

Suddenly, remorse entered her heart. She said:

“Astaghfiru Allah. (I seek forgiveness from Allah.)” She went to the Prophet’s house and knocked on the door. She said:

“O messenger of God, I didn’t know it was you.”

And the messenger of Allah said:

The real patience is at the first stroke of a calamity. (Al-Bukhari)

In other words, when the calamity hits, patience that Allah wants is at that point. That’s the point. Allah does not want you to lose control.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRG_7TSOO1Q