What Men Should Know

Akande’s work offers a counternarrative to ideas in global Muslim cultures that place emphasis on male satisfaction and diminishes the need to value female sexual fulfillment. The author explained why it is essential for Muslim men to resist social conditioning and learn how to gratify their partners.

“[It is] extremely important. It is from the Sunnah to satisfy your partner, and there are numerous sayings of the Prophet (peace be upon him) encouraging men to please their wives. Our faith teaches us to be great lovers and considerate to our partner’s needs for sexual fulfillment. It is a mindset more than anything else.

There is no hard and fast rule to satisfy a woman. It’s important to be attentive, patient and creative when making love. As Muslims, we have the best example to follow in terms of what it is to be a ‘real man’ and ‘true manhood’ with the Prophet Muhammad. He was a man who loved, respected and pleasured women. He also did not rely on wealth, deceit, or his status to attract women. As the Prophet said, ‘The best of you are those who are best to their wives, and I am the best amongst you towards my wives.’ (Related by Ibn Majah and Ibn Hibban).

Learning from people experienced in the art of lovemaking can help one overcome performance anxiety, improve sexual abilities and become a great lover.

To be a great lover, you need to be patient, considerate and attentive to your partner’s needs. You can’t be selfish, egotistic, or lazy. Like the ancients taught, this is something we can learn from.