In this video by Nouman Ali Khan “How Do I Express My Anger?” we get another insight about dealing with anger.
The main idea behind what he explains is that we make a dangerous mistake by associating patience with silence or doing nothing when we are being disrespected.
By doing so, we are allowing things to gradually pile up at the back of our mind, letting things come closer to our natural trigger for the angry beast inside us. Don’t feed the angry beast! Starve it by understanding what patience means and how to get yourself out of its claws.
TRANSCRIPTION:
[…] when someone gets on your last nerve and you run out of patience and the person replies this is because of Shaitaan how do you respond ?
You don’t respond.
When somebody gets on your last nerve and you explode… First of all you shouldn’t have been in that position, you shouldn’t allow it. You know, a lot of times we confuse bottling things up with patience. When you just stay quiet and don’t say anything that doesn’t mean you’re being patient….
Patience actually means that you can remain calm but when you’re being offended or something wrong is being said you can respectfully speak out and say that’s not true or that’s not acceptable and that’s not losing patience
And if you did come to the point where you had to snap and somebody took advantage of that and called you Shaitaan or that’s because of Shaitaan…. you know what maybe they’re right!!!
Frustration is a human characteristic, hence use what Islam says about effective communication : respectfully speak out but stay firm about the limits you cannot allow the other person to break .
TRANSCRIPTION:
[…] At that point you don’t really have any point in continuing the conversation.
[…] Those are the kinds of situation where you say “Salaam and peace, we can’t have this conversation anymore. Inshallah we’ll talk another time!”
[…] When you think staying silent or not saying anything is the same as patience that’s your mistake it’s not anybody else’s. Human beings can’t keep things bottled up they can’t it’s the way in which you express your frustration [..] I pray that Allah gives us the strength to communicate our sentiments with respect and love, with courtesy […]