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Sheikh Ahmad Kutty: Fatwas on Family Issues

Sheikh Ahmad Kutty
17 April, 2018

Dear Brothers/Sisters,

 

Thank you very much for joining us in this Live Fatwa session. We would like also to thank our guest, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, for answering the questions directed to him. You will find the answers of your questions below.

Thursday, Apr. 19, 2018 | 16:00 - 18:00 GMT

Session is over.

Assalam Alaikom. Subliminals are sounds hidden in another audio that goes into your subconcious mind after you hear it. I've recently been seeing a few of those videos around on YouTube. I was wondering if it's halal or haram to use those videos. Thank you!



Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

 

The rule about subliminal is the rule about any media. A media can be halal or haram depending on its purpose, function, and end-result. If these are beneficial and positive and contribute to the good in the world, then they are lawful. If on the contrary, they are harmful and destructive and promoting vices, then they are haram.

 

So ask yourself the question: What would be the ultimate effect of this work: good or bad. If it is undoubtedly useful, then you may pursue it without any doubt. If on the other hand, it would be evil, then shun it. If in doubt, you should avoid it to save your faith and honor.

 

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “Halal is clear, and Haram is clear; however, there are some dubious cases in between; therefore, whoever shuns would help safeguard his faith and honor.” (Muslim)

 

Almighty Allah knows best.

Assalamu alaikum shaikh,I know & understand taking child is encouraged in hadith so my question is not about that. if married couple wants they have two or three children in their family and after taking two or three they take non permanent contraception are they sinner? I am again emphasizing that they are not taking any permanent contraceptive method but they are continuing non permanent contraception method after two or three children. My question, Is it obligatory that ,they must take more than four children otherwise they will be sinner ?



Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

 

There is no harm in resorting to family planning through temporary contraceptive measures as long as you do it for genuine reasons or purposes sanctioned by the Shari`ah.

 

Providing better care and mentoring of children are goals highly praised in the Shari`ah. In today’s world, these are daunting tasks requiring considerable attention on the part of parents.

 

Therefore, resorting to family planning for such reasons cannot be objectionable.

 

For details, please refer to the answer posted here:

 

http://aboutislam.net/counseling/ask-the-scholar/family/can-poor-families-resort-to-family-planning/

 

Almighty Allah knows best.

Respected scholar! 4 years ago I was in my university and a guy sexually assaulted me (not intercourse) he did it for 3 times I was not a kind of person who talks to guys etc but this was shocking to me.. and I went under shock... after that many things changed and so I was... I started talking to him only for the reason he did wrong to me... and some ugly things happened but I never let him do intercourse... I told him to marry me because he has hurted me badly and made me vulnerable...but after sometime my parents got engaged me with someone else.. now he is a very nice guy... he don't like talking to girls even me his fiancé... I sometime feels I m not as clean as I should be... I feel bad and devastated from within and I cry all the time... I feel sad... my fiancé is a verrry nice guy.. he respects me... but he doesn't know about my past... I know it's hard for some men to understand these things that is why I m scared of telling him anything as I don't want to loose him...



You owe it to yourself to repent to Allah; you cannot merely blame the boy who abused you especially if you did continue hanging around with him. So you need to seek repentance and ask forgiveness of Allah.

 

Repentance is not merely saying sorry. Instead, you need to feel genuine remorse over your action; you need to refrain from such activities or actions associated with such acts; resolving never to do it again and finally compensating for it by doing whatever good deeds you can afford to.

Once you have done so, you can hope for forgiveness of Allah.

 

You need not dwell on your past; for the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “One who repents of a sin is like someone who did not sin.”

 

As for your relationship with your husband, you need to thank Allah for giving you such a man; and the way to thank Allah for this gift is to be determined to remain chaste and pure. You need to purge your heart of any attachment or thought about the boy who abused you in the first place and then focusing on cementing your marriage by taking daily steps. You should not divulge your past to your husband. Doing that more like digging up the dirt that has been buried. The Prophet said, “If dirty acts in the past have tested anyone of you, let him or her not divulge it to anyone for by doing so they are lifting the cover that Allah has placed over them.”

 

If these thoughts are still worrying you, please see a counselor/therapist who can help you in your recovery.

On the positive aspects of repentance in Islam, please refer to the answer linked here:

 

The Door of Repentance Is Wide Open

 

http://aboutislam.net/shariah/refine-your-heart/advice/door-repentance-wide-open/

 

Almighty Allah knows best.

 

Assalamu alykum waramatulah wabarakatu Please there is a girl am willing to marry in sha Allah but we are all from the same extended family but with different Mother and Father is it allowed for me to marry her?



Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

 

You are allowed to marry someone who does not belong to the forbidden categories as mentioned in the following verse:

 

“Forbidden to you are your mothers, and your daughters, and your sisters, and your aunts paternal and maternal, and a brother’s daughters, and a sister’s daughters; and your milk-mothers, and your milk-sisters; and the mothers of your wives; and your step-daughters – who are your foster children – born of your wives with whom you have consummated your marriage; but if you have not consummated your marriage, you will incur no sin [by marrying their daughters]; and [forbidden to you are] the spouses of the sons who have sprung from your loins; and [you are forbidden] to have two sisters [as your wives] at one and the same time – but what is past is past: for, behold, God is indeed much-forgiving, a dispenser of grace.” (An-Nisaa’ 4: 23)

 

Almighty Allah knows best.

 

Assalamu alaikum shaikh can male & female teachers teach medical science to students of their opposite gender theoretically ,practically & other ways? Please note that , medical science contain sensitive topics,both male & female students learn from teachers & other students of opposite/same gender by uncovering & touching both male & female patient's body parts in front other people,patients of both gender present there(although in case of awrah/private parts some privacy is maintained) & there is no gender segregation in medical schools, educational institutions ,job fields & other organizations in our country. What is the fatwa for our case?



Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

 

While we should observe the strict of haya or modesty at all circumstances, an exception is allowed in case of medical practice or treatment.

 

According to the rules of jurisprudence rigor of laws is relaxed in cases of Daruah (dire necessity) or Hajah ( extreme need).

 

Medical treatment comes in the category of Darurah, while the unavoidable exposure of medical students to the private parts of males as well as females fall into the second category of Hajah.

 

Our scholars have already said, “Often a Hajah is raised to the level of Daruah or dire necessity because of unavoidable necessity.”

 

Therefore, there is no need to apply the strict interdict against exposure to such cases.

 

This is what we infer from the rulings of fiqh as  handed down by our great scholars belonging to all of the four schools of jurisprudence.

 

So there is no need to make a big issue out of this matter.

 

Almighty Allah knows best.

 

Salam alaiykum my question is regarding the days in ramadan we female don't fast due to period. Actually I didn't knew exactly that we have to do fasting for days of period left in ramadan .Therefore I don't remeber exact number of fasts I have to hold plus I did few up to 15 I guess but honestly never counted ,now i want to fininsh all my fasts but dont know the exact remeber what should i do .I do know some times a year i did fast but not with niyah of ramadan left days but for sawab and some years i do have fasted right after ramadan for making up my peroid days but i would repeat dont know exact number of days im left with now thats why im confused.



Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

 

As a Muslimah, you ought to keep track of the days of fast you have missed due to menstruation or childbirth or even sickness or travel and make up for them.

 

If you have failed to keep a record of them, you need to make an educated guess. You should be able to refer to your standard pattern (regular days of menses) and calculate the total number of days you missed, accordingly and fast them. And try to observe some optional fasts as well. You can redeem yourself for your past mistakes doing so and asking forgiveness of Allah.

 

In future, you ought to keep a proper record of the days you miss due for such reasons and make up for them before the next Ramadan arrives.

 

If you find yourself unable to make up for them due to terminal illness, then you ought to expiate by feeding the poor. You ought to feed a poor for each day you missed.

 

Almighty Allah knows best.

 

Assalam Alaikum, If your husband constantly threatens to leave, abandon, separate or divorce you verbally, by phone call or by text msg EVERYTIME you have a minor or major argument, does this count as a valid divorce? And what to do if he denies it & says it was not his intention but only to scare you? Jazak Allah



Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

 

He is playing with the sacred law of Allah by using divorce to intimidate you. If he wants to divorce you, he needs to do it properly through the legal channel.

 

As for whether such threats constitute divorce, I am inclined to choose the ruling of Imam Ibn Taymiyyah, they do not constitute a valid divorce.  If he is merely uttering such words, he needs to repent and learn to control his anger.

 

If, however, he is swearing or making oaths to that effect, then he ought to expiate for such oaths by feeding ten poor persons or clothing them. If he cannot do so, then he needs to fast three days: Allah says in the Qur’an: “Allah will not take you to task for oaths which you may have uttered without thought, but He will take you to task for oaths which you have sworn in earnest. Thus, the breaking of an oath must be atoned for by feeding ten needy persons with more or less the same food as you are wont to give to your own families, or by clothing them, or by freeing a human being from bondage; and he who has not the wherewithal shall fast for three days [instead]. This shall be the atonement for your oaths whenever you have sworn [and broken them]. But be mindful of your oaths!’ Thus Allah makes clear unto you His messages so that you might have cause to be grateful this is the way to expiate for his solemn oaths.” (Al-Ma’idah 5: 89)

 

Almighty Allah knows best.

Assalamu Alaikum I heard that spouses will meet each other in Jannah :) Alhamdulillah:)) But my question is : if anyone’s husband enters first and the wife can’t make it at the same time, but eventually may enter (later), will her husband be waiting for her or Will be married to someone else?? What is the exact ruling regarding this issue? Jazak Allahu Kheiran



Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

 

Jannah is the blissful abode where we find the ultimate fulfillment of all of our desires. There is nothing higher than one’s wish to meet his or her beloved spouse.

Allah says: “gardens of perpetual bliss, which they shall enter together with the righteous from among their parents, their spouses, and their offspring;  and the angels will come unto them from every gate [and will say]: “Peace be upon you because you have persevered!” How excellent, then, this fulfillment in the hereafter!” (Ar-Ra`d 13: 23-24)

 

And we are told elsewhere that Jannah is where all our wishes find fulfillment – in ways we can never conceive or think,

“No soul can tell what bliss has been kept ready in wait for the

And [as for all such believers,] no human being can imagine what blissful delights, as yet hidden, await them [in the life to come] as a reward for all that they did.” ( As-Sajdah 32:17)

 

And the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “Allah says: “I have prepared ready for My slaves such delights the like of which no eyes have seen, nor ears have heard about, and  no mind could ever think of.”

 

We also learn from some reports that Allah will ask His servants to wish for anything which would be created for them instantly.

 

In conclusion, the righteous will join their beloved ones in paradise no matter which one of them died first or not.

 

I pray to Allah to honor us all to join the company of the righteous in paradise when we die.

 

Almighty Allah knows best.

Aslamoalikum,I'm 29 year old single Muslim lady. I'm living in a rented apt with my dad,his wife and their babies. I'm living on a disability wage cause of my depression. I've been thinking about the future,and fearing it. No one stays forever. My dad is old and has health problems. I'm worried i'll have no where to go after he passes away. I know I shouldn't leave home and live on my own. But I fear that dreadful day each day and I'm worried my disability money wont be enough for me to go and rent my own apt. So i've been looking for a roommate. I have a friend,she's 23 years old. Divorced with no children. she's muslim as well. She's been having problems with her family and now lives in a shelter for women. I've been wanting to help her ever since i've met her. But something stops me. We have a mutual girl friend and she said the girl is destructive ..she drinks and smokes weed. She has tattoos and she's living away from her family. But she believes in Allah,she fasts Ramadan,she sometimes prays. She's been through alot in her life. I dont know what to do. In one hand I need to get my own life on track and maybe rent an apt,try to work and have an independent life. And on the other I want to help my friend, She's had a troubled life. I know I shouldn't leave home but we live in a rented apt,and its bound to happen sooner or later and I rather it happening when i'm still young and able to get a job if needed and take care of myself. My friend is currently at a shelter for battered women,her family threatened to kill her and they don't talk anymore. she's always on and off of the shelter. I was looking for a roommate,and since she's in need..Thought i'd be able to give her the care and love she needs and help her fight her addictions. I need help,I need to know if its the right thing to do or not



Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

 

Since you are a mature adult, you can decide for yourself whether you want to move out with the sister and give her company and help her out.

 

However, you cannot do so at the expense of the essential care and service you owe our father – if he cannot live without your assistance.

 

If, however, he is being looked after by his wife, you may decide to move out but do so with his blessing.

 

Almighty Allah knows best.

I need a clarification on how to bathe the dead body? a, Is it permissible for a male child to bath his late mother? b, can male and female children bathe their own father or mother together? c, what are the procedures for bathing the dead body? Jazzakumu Allah khaira



Bathing the deceased is a collective duty; it ought to be performed by the closest family members if available; otherwise by other members of the community, preferably those who are known for their integrity.

 

The general rule is that the close male relatives should bathe the male person and the close female relatives should wash the female.

 

However, an exception is the case of parents and children and spouses.

 

A son can bathe the mother with his sisters or other close female relatives; likewise, a daughter can wash the father with the help of her brothers, sisters, etc.

 

It was Ali who bathed his wife Fathimah with the help of Asma bit Umays.

 

As for the procedure, let me list it as follows:

 

1- Place the body in a high place: a bench or table

 

2- Private parts must always remain covered; wear gloves

 

3- One person should gently raise the head; another person should gently squeeze the tummy to squeeze out the impurities, and a third person should hose down the impurities.

4- When the water runs clear, the body should be laid to rest. The washer (wearing gloves) should wash the private parts from underneath the cover without lifting it;  Then give him/her a wudhu except there is no rinsing, gargling of mouth or nostrils; Just wet some cotton balls and clean the teeth, nose, and ears;

 

5- Then wash the entire body starting from the head and the right side; turn the body gently to the other side, then bathe left side;

 

6- Wash at least three times; one may increase the number of washes if needed, but it should end in an odd number of times; in the final rinse, mix some camphor with the water.

 

7- Once the bathing is completed, wipe the deceased dry with towels and shroud him or her before offering salatul al-janazah.

For a concise guide to all aspects of Islamic funerals, you can access my booklet here in pdf.

 

http://www.alnoorusa.org/Islamic_funeral_rites_and_practices_booklet.pdf

 

Almighty Allah knows best.

How much should be the maximum length of hair for women? I have recently heard that it should not be beyond waist? Is it so?



Women are encouraged to let their hair grow; however, they are allowed to cut it if they are getting overly long.

 

We learn from the traditions that the wives of the Prophet used to cut their hairs when they grow too long.

 

Since there is no explicit prohibition on women cutting their long hair, they should shun hairstyle resembling those of males.

 

Almighty Allah knows best.

I survived being raped when I was young and married a Muslim. I am now pregnant. I would sometimes cry because some people explained to me despite the mental and physical anguish I had experienced which made it not easy to marry, if I went to heaven I would be forced to have my husband have multiple wives or houris. I cried because I wanted to be a Muslim, but it was very hard to believe that the Muslim version of heaven was the truth after what I went through if I had no choice but to either burn in eternity or deal with polygamy. Thank you for your response I read online that polygamy doesn't have to be for everyone as my husband has told me countless times he only wants one wife and houris are only for men who desire that. I really would like to be Muslim and not be forced into polygamy in heaven the way I was forced into rape in this life. Your commentary online helps bring me peace if I one day convert to Islam. It is not easy to find your email online or I would thank you directly.



Your question about houris belongs to a realm beyond the laws of this world; it lies outside the realm of human knowledge and cognition.

So, I am not in a position to answer you. I don’t think anyone can do so.

If you are sincere in your faith, you ought to leave it to Allah, the Knower of the Unseen and the Seen.

You could, however, find peace and comfort in the revealed truths the Law-Giver tells us that in paradise everyone will have what his or her heart desires, for it is where all of our desires find ultimate fulfillment.

 

Therefore, you should be concerned more about how to get to paradise instead of worrying about the issue of houris in paradise.

 

Almighty Allah knows best.

Aslamwalaykum, im in a situation were my current boyfriend knows about my past sins and he wants to know more which I don’t want to reveal he wants to know when and were it happened etc. I know having a bf is haram and i have made mistakes doing haram things with him and in past astagfirullah. I’m trying to change my ways i ask Allah for forgiveness i repent. This boy I’m with wants to no more of my past in order he can forget about it and move on with me. I have told him islamically its my past he has nothing to do with it. He is making me turn into a liar i have started swearing down lifes and lying Astagfirulla may Allah swt forgive me. I just wanted to cover my sins and not reveal them. He also asked me to touch the quran and tell him everything and if certain things are true but I can’t touch the quran and lie. I really don’t no what to do i cry asking Allah swt to forgive me forgive me for swearing down other’s lifes and lying. I just don’t want to reveal my past sins. I want to know is it permissible to pick a false oath in islam to someone if they making you, so you don’t reveal your past sins?? Like touch the quran or swearing down parents, others life. Please help. Jzk



Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

 

As you undoubtedly know you are keeping an illicit relationship with the boy and you are determined to continue that. And the boy wants to force you to divulge your sinful transgressions of the past. Both of you are adding sins after sins and yet want to use the law of Allah to justify your actions.

 

I would advise you to cut off relations with the boy and turn to Allah in sincere repentance for all of your past sins; once you do so, Allah will bring peace into your heart. Otherwise, you will continue to torment yourself further and further until you destroy your life.

 

There is no salvation in such a relationship. If you seek peace in such a lifestyle, it is like someone going after a mirage in search of water.

I would urge you to refer to the answer linked below on how you can turn to Allah in repentance:

 

The Door of Repentance Is Wide Open

 

http://aboutislam.net/shariah/refine-your-heart/advice/door-repentance-wide-open/

 

Almighty Allah knows best.

 

Assalam.alaikukm. Sir my baby who is a boy is 6 months old. he face a lot of sleep problem. since birth I am giving medicines that are not effective. can i give him kalonji and honey at night as its prophets (PBUH) saying that eccept death its a solution for every disease... Secondly., we didn't perform aqeeqah coz of sum financial problem but can we shave his hair and weight it in silver and give in charity?



Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

 

I pray to Allah to shower your baby with His mercy and heal him and cure him of this condition.

 

If sleep deprivation is due to physical causes, it should be diagnosed and treated by referring to the professionals in the field. At the same time, one should complement such treatment with spiritual healing, which you can achieve by turning to Allah, the Creator of sleep, for assistance.

 

The Prophet, peace be upon him, advised us all to go to bed in a state of purity and to read the last three surahs (chapters) of the Qur’an (i.e., 112, 113, 114), followed by du’a of sleep.

 

So you should read these verses and blow into your hands and wipe over his face and body. You may follow it up with another du’a which I have inferred from the Prophet’s advice to one of his companions:

 

Allaahumma ghaarat al-nnujum, wa hada’at al-uyun wa anta hayyun qayyoom, laa ta’khudhuka sinatun wa laa nawm; ihdi laylalahu wa anim ‘aynahu

 

(O Allah, stars have set, eyes have rested, You alone are the Ever-Alive, and the Self-Subsisting Source of all beings; neither slumber nor sleep overtakes You. Make the night comforting for my son, and bring rest unto his eyes.)

 

Almighty Allah knows best.

I've been diagnosed with anemia recently. My periods were fine until 3 months ago. But now I've had spotting three different times. Its between clear and brown but a very light brown- I was told not to pray, what should I do? I'm having the normal pains that come along with periods- which used to happen to me. Every internet search I make talks about faint red and brown. But my spottings really faint. Then I start worrying that I made it up in my head- but I know I didn't. This time I feel like I'm going to be menstruating (Inshallah). But I'm scared that I might get sins if I don't get my periods.



Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

 

You are free of menses only when your bleeding has completely stopped, and you see the white discharge, following your regular pattern.

 

However, after seeing the white discharge if you do experience pinkish or brownish discharges, you need not worry. Umm Atiyyah, the Prophet’s companion, said, “During the Prophet’s time, we never used to pay attention to the pinkish or brownish discharges that followed the expiry of menses.”  (Al-Bukhari and others)

 

All the above, however, is conditional on the fact that your menses period did not exceed fifteen days. For bleeding after fifteen days cannot be reckoned as menses; instead, you should consider it as due to istihadhah (abnormal bleeding).

 

In the case of istihadhah, you need to pray after having taken a full bath at the end of your period; then you wash your private and make wudhu before each prayer. Washing and wudhu should only be done immediately before each prayer.

 

Almighty Allah knows best.

As salaam Alaikum, I revert to Islam some 13 years ago, and have been married with this man for 12 years, we have a lovely boy who is 10 years old. My husband gave me a talaq in January because we fought a lot due to my suspicions of him having an affair and even possibly offsprings, and many old unsolved marital issues. I was the one who had asked for a divorce first. Right before my Iddah finishes, he confesses that he has actually married a good Muslim woman 2 years ago, and have two children with her, one is a new born and another one born before they got married. I'm not trying to judge anyone, I just found it ironic that this man tells me that I have no deen yet he calls another who have a kid out of wedlock a good Muslim woman. I am not covering my head, and I haven't practiced for a long time because I didn't have any guidance, not even from him, may Allah forgive me, but I have started doing my daily salah and attending more classes now. May Allah grant me forgiveness and guide me on the right path. Now, because he confessed to me about this other wife and kids, and says he does also love me, I am supposed to work with this man to build my marriage with him, while he will slowly bring his other family into the light. Yes, for all these years, none of his family or friends know of this marriage or the two daughters. He calls it true love by her to agree to stay in secret, never really sleeps over at her place or even visiting his own kids. I'm very lost here, I think this woman is suffering too, but she actually told this man that she is willing to meet me to be humiliated, while over the phone with her, she says she wants the humiliation because she feels bad that she hurts me and she had tried to plead with her husband not to divorce me, and she has advised him that it is good to let me know that he is married to her when my iddah is over and before I leave his house. I don't like people like her, and I told her that her opinions makes no use to me, and I won't humiliate her, but if she was really empathetic, she would have walked away a long time ago and she had no business in asking my husband not to divorce me. The way she is acting casts doubts on my head, I don't feel comfortable to leave my son to his father to be raised by this woman after my divorce. May Allah forgive me if I am judging her here. And I don't know how it will work out if my son is to stay with me and his dad visits him occasionally since he is over 10 years old. I don't want to server any family ties here, but I really don't want my son to be near this women or her young kids. Am I in the wrong for thinking like this? As for accepting the 2nd wife, I am not able to find it inside me to do so yet. We had agreed in the beginning that this marriage won't be a polygamous marriage. I know I can't ask him to leave her, plus I think I am the disposable one here, so I want to have the divorce but I am really confused about what to do with my son. I loved this man a lot, I still love him but I don't think my love is valued here by him. Is there any special dua to detach my heart from him? I hope to hear from you soon with any advise. Jazak Allah



Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

 

I empathize with your situation. The man has betrayed your trust and breached the terms of your marriage contract since he told you that he wouldn’t take a second wife while being married to you. Therefore, you have the right to divorce him Islamically, if you so choose.

 

If, however, you want to keep the marriage, you may do so while bearing his behavior patiently. His actions are born of lust and passion rather than his commitment to Islam. He cannot use Islam to justify his actions which violate the teachings of Islam.

 

Having said this, whether you divorce him or agree to reconcile to the fact of his second marriage, you cannot sever blood relations: you cannot stop him from seeing his son or prevent your son from seeing his half-brother or sister for after all they are blood relations.

 

You need to turn to Allah for strength and peace. I would advise you to get a copy of the book, Invocations of God by Ibn al-Qayyim al-Jawziyyah.

 

I am sure you will find it a real source of spiritual strength.

 

Almighty Allah knows best.

Asalam o alaikum I am a thirty one year old muslimah from Pakistan. I got married in march 2015 when i was twenty eight years old.Unfortunately, my marriage did not survive. There are some questions which haunt me. If a muslimah does not get married ever in this life, will she be questioned in akhirah?. Celibacy is a social issue in Pakistan. I want to get married again. Yet, i havent found any sound potential partner for myself. If i do not succeed in getting married again, will Allah question me? My second question is if a muslimah does not get married, will she be rewarded in Akhirah for the patience she had about wedding in this life?. I feel like being single needs alot of patience and endurance. My third question is there any prayer or dua which i can make for my wedding so that i get a pious partner for myself. please reply me because it is distressing me alot. I am looking forward. wsalam



Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

 

Marriage is a great Sunnah of the Prophet (peace be upon him), and we are encouraged to embrace it as the ideal if we can afford to do so and do justice to our spouses.

 

If, however, a person has no desire for intimacy and he or she cannot fulfill the rights of his or her spouse, then they may choose to remain celibates. We have a significant number of eminent scholars who never got married: Among them were esteemed Imams such as Ibn Jair al-Tabari, An-Nawawi, and Ibn Taymiyyah. We may do well to remember also that Prophet Yahya was a celibate.

 

So, it is not a must for a person to get married.

 

In your case, it seems you are not free of desire for intimacy, so, you should ask Allah to provide you a righteous marriage partner. If you fail to find a suitable marriage partner, you incur no sin as it was beyond your control.

 

In the latter case, you will be rewarded if you accept the will of Allah patiently.

 

As for praying to Allah in helping you find a marriage partner, I would advise you to make lots of istighfar.

 

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “Whoever makes istighfar constantly, Allah will open ways for him or her and provide for them in ways they would never be able to estimate.” So, you should continue making istighfar; Allah will facilitate matters for you.

You may also use the following du’aa’:

 

Allaahumma hab lee min ladunka zawjan saalihan, innaka samee’u al-du’aa’

(O Allah, grant me a righteous spouse as a pure gift from You; verily, You are the Hearer of prayers).

 

I pray to Allah to help you find a righteous marriage partner.

 

Almighty Allah knows best.

Assalamwalaikum My wife and I are going through some challenging times at the moment, we have a child and our marriage is hanging by the most smallest thread possible. There are some long term issues, i.e. wife has not yet handed in her notice to resign yet from a specific location / workplace that i was not happy about her going to. Wife being constantly caught lying and making up excuses to justify her own ends, My in laws behave in a immature manner and make loads of excuses not to visit. We been married almost 16 months, they havent even come to my house yet, nor have they come to see my daughter, we've always gone to them. Anyway. Seperate to the Mahr, I gave her a diamond ring and a indian gold set as a wedding gift. This was kept at the marital home until which In month 3 of our marriage, my wife decides to take it permenantly to her parents house (she claims for safe keeping, but her house was robbed at gun point many moons back.... exactly i know what your are thinking). Its been there ever since. After a lot of drama and my wife being caught lying throughout the marriage, (you may find a question and answer posted previously - lying about where our daughter was being born etc.) i have lost signinficant trust in her. I want her to bring the gold back to the marital home, I will have it covered under insurance too. My wife has made a number of excuses not to keep it in our marital home. Excuses include 'not safe in marital home', 'need to show her family', I don't support her financially etc etc. My wife has been boasting about how she has over 100 grams of gold (before marriage)) and she can buy my house three times over if she wanted, however she seems to want to keep the gold at her parents AND sell it off and put the money into her account/childs account. She refuses to sit with me and an imam to sort this out. Despite being so wealthy to begin with she seems to cause trouble around the wedding gold that I gave her, all she has to do is bring it back, wear it for me now and then, I'm happy. Even though I'm in debt I still wouldn't tell her to sell it, it's not for me to sell (unless mutually agreed off course, but far from it, don't think my wife would ever agree anyway). Only the sterling amount was stated on the Islamic marriage contract, the gold was not mentioned. The gold was given to the bride as part of the marriage, for her to wear for me etc. 1. What right s do I have as the Ameer of the family despite my wife being the owner of this ornament which was given as part of the marriage contract. 2. What happens if there is a divorce, i know she will keep the Mahr (paid into a joint bank (her and her dads), but what about the diamond ring and gold. 3. If i fear that sending my wife back to her parents 'for visiting' endangers our marriage, can I stop her from visiting/going to her parents? Although i suspect the answer varies from culture to culture and sect to sect, I would like to know your feedback please? JazakAllah



Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

 

Your challenges in marriage are most probably due to lack of communication which in turn is because of mistrust between you and your wife.

 

For some reason, both of you have no trust in each other. You cannot merely place all the blame on your wife.

 

As a husband, you have greater responsibility to take the initiative to see why she has reservations about leaving the job and moving the jewelry to your house.

 

Perhaps you have failed to earn her confidence and trust in you; therefore, she thinks she ought to have a backup plan – in case the marriage breaks up.

 

Therefore, my advice to you would be to see how you can build her trust in you.

 

Islamic notion of man’s leadership in the family should be exercised properly within the ethical guidelines established by the Qur’an and the ideal practice of the Prophet (peace be upon him).

 

You may do well to remember that Allah orders His messenger to make decisions on consultation; furthermore, as Ibn `Abbas said that man’s leadership in the family means that he should be more forgiving and take greater responsibility in keeping good relations with his wife.

 

I am sure once you have taken the initiative to build the trust she will be willing to leave her job and keep the jewelry in your home.

 

If I were in your shoes, I would not insist that she keeps the jewelry in your home; since it was given to her in the first place, she has the right to keep it wherever she prefers. That should not be a reason for you to break up the marriage.

 

You may do well to read the following book which should help you with tips to maintain a blissful marriage: Blissful Marriage: A Practical Islamic Guide by Ekram Beshir.

As for keeping her away from her family, you have no right to do so. After all, our duty towards our parents comes next to our obligation to worship Allah as reiterated throughout in the Holy Qur’an.

 

If you do so, you will end up doing the worst of sins: severing the ties of kinship which is an unforgivable sin in Islam.

 

As for the question who keeps the jewelry and marriage gifts in case of divorce, you have no right to take any of them if you are the one initiating the divorce. Allah says, “But if you desire to give up a wife and to take another in her stead, do not take away anything of what you have given the first one, however much it may have been. [21] Would you, perchance, take it away by slandering her and thus committing a manifest sin?” (An-Nisaa’ 4: 20)

 

If, however, she is the one asking for the divorce, then you may insist she gives you back the mahr as well as the marriage gifts you or your family have given her. You have no right to take any of the gifts her family has given.

 

Last but not least, if they have given you anything, you also ought to give them back to them – in case you are divorcing her.

 

Before concluding, let me advise you to seek marriage counseling from a professional who is knowledgeable in the Islamic marital ethics.

 

I pray to Allah to inspire both of you to settle your differences amicably and establish peace.

 

Almighty Allah knows best.

Assalamu'alaikum warahmatullahiwabarakaatuhu There is a sister studying Phd in a non-muslim country without a mahram. She is concerned about the end of the world which will commence soon, and she wants to prepare her life more for Islamic study instead of continuing her phd. The problem is she is studying on a scholarship merit. And of course she is unable to tell the reason to not to continue to pursue her phd to　her professsor, since he or she will never be able to understand it. And if she just leave without explanation, it will Give bad impression about muslim and Islam. The professor and the community will probably think that muslim is irresponsible, especially since she is studying on a scholarship. What should she say to the professor in the best way so that it will be understandable and it will not leave bad impression for Islam or muslim? Secondly is there any permissible reason in Islamic view for her to keep on pursuing her phd in a nin muslim country without mahram? I am looking forward to havibg your reply at your earliest convenience. Yours faithfully



Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

 

It would be wrong for her to leave her studies, especially at this stage. The reasons mentioned above are not legitimate.

 

For one thing, no one knows when the Hour is approaching.

 

It is the lesson that we learn from the Qur’an and the Sunnah.

 

Allah says:

 

“THEY WILL ASK you [O Prophet] about the Last Hour: “When will it come to pass?” Say: “Verily, knowledge thereof rests with my Sustainer alone. None but He will reveal it in its time. Heavily will it weigh on the heavens and the earth; [and] it will not fall upon you otherwise than of a sudden.” They will ask you – as if you could gain insight into this [mystery] by dint of persistent inquiry!  Say: “Knowledge thereof rests with my Sustainer alone; but [of this] most people are unaware.” (Al-A`raf 7:187)

 

When Angel Jibreel asked the Prophet (peace be upon him) about the hour, his answer was: Neither the one who is questioned about it nor the questioner knows any better.” (Abu Dawud and others)

 

Moreover, even if one were to witness the Hour coming, one is told to continue the work he or she is doing. The Prophet (peace be  upon him) said, “If the hour is coming and if one of you were trying to plant a seedling, let him not finish planting it.” (Al-Bukhari)

 

Therefore, no matter what work one is doing (whether it is strictly religious or otherwise), he or she will be rewarded as long as it is beneficial for humanity. Islam does not make a distinction between secular and religious sciences. So the sister is better off in completing her Ph.D. rather than starting out to go for Islamic studies. In fact, Muslims today are more in need of scientists more than those who pursue Islamic studies.

 

One of the eminent scholars who visited North America observed a strange trend among scientists walking away from it to turn to religious studies.  He said, “if this trend continues, Muslims will be deprived of good scientists, and end up with mediocre scholars.” That would be the case with her leaving her Ph.D. in preference to pursuing her study of Islam.

 

Therefore, my sincere advice to the sister is to continue pursuing her doctorate and focus on passing it with the highest distinction.

 

Almighty Allah knows best.

Assalamu alaikum, Is it good to be a scholar in a scientific field? Does it have the same reward as being a scholar in Sharia? Jazak Allahu khayran



Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

 

Islam does not make any distinction between religious and secular knowledge. Religion and science are not rivals; instead, they are complementary. Religion deals with the matters beyond human comprehension, while science deals with the study, observation, and analysis of the sense- data.

 

If pursued rightly the latter leads us to decipher signs of God in nature while the former is based on reading and pondering he signs of Allah in the scripture.

 

So, whether you are pursuing the strict religious knowledge or scientific knowledge, you will be rewarded as long as you do so with the intention of benefitting humanity and thus seeking the pleasure of Allah.

 

We have no shortage of scholars devoted to the study of Islam; therefore we are in greater need of scientists.

 

Therefore, if you have the aptitude to excel in science, you should go for it. You will undoubtedly merit more significant rewards if you have the sincere intention of serving humanity to please Allah.

 

I pray to Allah to inspire you to make the right decision.

 

Almighty Allah knows best.