Finding the Key to Happiness

Married or single, putting the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket doesn’t seem like a very smart idea, does it?
It’s too much of a burden to be responsible for someone’s happiness all day, every day!

You can’t depend on your husband, or even on your own flesh and blood, (be it your parents or your kids) to make you happy because it’s impossible to be physically and emotionally available ALL the time.
They will fail and eventually give up.
A man’s role is NOT to make you happy, it’s to make you happier!

To all the single Muslim girls waiting for their other half to finally make an appearance (hopefully on a white Arabian horse bearing a diamond ring) remember this: Allah says,

“If you are grateful, I will surely increase you in favor.” (Holy Qur’an, 14:7)

Maybe that’s the core of the problem; you having the ‘if this happens I will be happy’ syndrome. The misery you’re feeling now will leave once it has done teaching you that loved ones, romance, family and everything you wish for, have the ability to make you happier, but no one can truly make you happy except yourself, when you have that beautiful attitude of gratitude to your One and Only Creator.

And Now for the Practical Tips

“Okay wait, how are we doing on word limit? We good? Great! Let’s answer some universal questions. Yes, you in the purple top. Go!”

“I’m tired of waiting for the right guy. I hardly get any marriage proposals and I’m scared I’ll end up alone. What do I do?”

 There’s a toxic voice inside every single woman drowning her with doubts. Please don’t succumb to it, otherwise, you’ll find yourself crossing the ‘decency’ line, sinning, falling for the wrong guy or accepting the unacceptable out of fear of loneliness. Girls, getting married is a form of ‘rizq’ (sustenance) like money, health, etc. It’s made up of effort and blessings.
Cause and effect.
So ask Allah with specific supplication (duaa) the way Prophet Musa  did.

“My Lord, indeed I am, for whatever good You would send down to me, in need.”(Holy Qur’an, 28:24)

“I’m just too drained, miserable and lonely to help myself or try to be happy, especially when there’s nothing to be happy about.”

A rough translation of a famous Arabic quote is this:
“Whoever doesn’t have it can’t give it.”
I mean, did you ever hear of a miserable person randomly attracting happiness or suddenly getting what he or she wants? Having nothing to do is poisonous, and it leads to overthinking. You need to keep yourself busy doing something you enjoy and discovering your unique talents. That’s when you’ll be proud of yourself, feeling happy and alive.

You can never love and care for someone else if you don’t love and care for yourself first. Meaning you’re not ready to be in a relationship to start with. The first step is to accept your life for what it is and thank God for everything else He has given you. Because if you’re not grateful for what you have, why would Allah increase it? Honey, your happiness will not come to you, it can only come FROM you. So take ten minutes each morning to thank God for your health, your parents, your house, your safety, your eyesight…

Try to think happy thoughts, help others in need and smile, even when you don’t feel like it. Trust me, these three things trick the brain and affect your mood positively. Kind of like ‘fake it till you become it’ sort of thing.

“There’s a guy I like and he likes me, but he’s taking forever to propose and six years later I’m still single and waiting. What do I do?”

I have four words for you: Indecision is a decision.
(You’re counting the words, aren’t you? LOL)

Don’t give in or break your rules for someone who isn’t ready. Beware of those sweet talkers, girls; they all read the same book ‘How To Break A Girl’s Heart and Leave Her Hanging’. You’ll waste your life waiting and end up hating him, yourself and the whole world for it.
Stay on the right path, where there is no secrecy or shame, and the right guy will appear on it.

To all the beautiful single Muslim girls all around the world…

There’s nothing wrong with wishing and waiting for the man of your dreams, just be patient… And, no cheating, girls! Real patience is not just about having the ability to wait, it’s in having the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.

Allah is too Merciful and Kind to see you wishing to be happily married and not give it to you.
He just needs you to be ready. At least try to be grateful and content first and He will surely increase you in favor and make you happier.

That’s your Lord’s promise.
Put your trust in Him.

And, don’t forget to invite us all to your wedding.

This article was first published on the author’s blog. Republished here with a kind permission.

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