How to Help
If you notice any of these signs or are worried about someone in your life who may be contemplating suicide and/or having ideations, then please know you can help.
Having someone to talk to that shows support and concern can go a long way. If you know someone is struggling with suicidal thoughts or depression, but they are not in immediate danger then you can use these tips to help them.
Actively listen to them. Active listening is a skill, you are listening to understand not to respond. Do not interrupt them when talking, let them say all they want to say. Do not try to argue with them and avoid any type of judgment.
If you express judgment, they are likely to shut down and stop talking to you. Even if you disagree with something they said, that is their perception and arguing with them will not help.
This is not the time to debate or judge, it is the time to listen and allow them a supportive space to vent. Avoid statements like “things could be worse” or “it isn’t really that bad” as these minimize their emotions and make them feel like you are invalidating their feelings.
Encourage them to seek out professional help. They might feel reluctant or shy to seek out help, especially if they come from a family culture that doesn’t understand suicide.
Assure them what they say to a Psychiatrist and/or Therapist is confidential and a safe place. If you feel comfortable with this, you can offer to drive them to a therapy appointment and sit in the room with them or wait in the lobby.
No matter the outcome of your conversation, follow up with them afterward. Text them or call the next day to see how they are doing. This will also assure them you are a point of support and care about their well-being.
Make duaa for them and encourage them to express their feelings to Allah (most honored and revered). This can be a source of comfort for them and anything they say to Allah is held between them. Remind them they can get through this and they are never alone. They can trust in you to be a support and they can trust in Allah to take care of them.
…rely upon Allah . Indeed, Allah loves those who rely [upon Him]…” [Quran Aal `Imran 3:159]
Remember, you are not there to solve their problems. It is not possible for you to resolve everything for them and that is okay, you don’t need to. You are a support person who can help them in seeking out professional help.
Final Thoughts
If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts and/or ideations, please take these seriously and don’t wait to take action.
An easy and free resource is the National Suicide Prevention line at 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255). They are available 24 hours a day 7 days a week.
Be mindful of the risk factors as well as signs of suicidal thoughts. If you are unsure if someone close to you is struggling with suicidal thoughts, don’t hesitate to speak with them privately and determine how they are feeling. That conversation may save their life.
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