“If you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman.”
“Before marriage a man will lay awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage, he’ll fall asleep before you finish saying it.”
The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, “I’ve found a man just like father!”.
Her mother replied, “So what do you want from me, sympathy?”
During the hard times a man always looks for a woman. During the good times, he looks for the second one..
When a husband stays alone for the night, the fridge gets over 100 views in just a few hours.
How do men define a “50/50” relationship?
Women cook-they eat; women clean-they dirty; women iron-they wrinkle.
Men are like…..Commercials. You can’t believe a word they say.
Wife: “I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?”
Husband: “You have perfect eyesight.”
Wife: What is 10 years with me?
Husband: A second.
Wife: What is $1000 for me?
Husband: A coin.
Wife: Ok, give me a coin.
Husband: Wait a second!