On the top, I feel shy in front of my father and brothers. I usually hide in my room, eat, and drink there with the help of my mom, but it is so hard when I go out for my exams, for example, that I cannot eat or drink, but if I fast, I still have to compensate later...
I feel so frustrated. I was even thinking to take some pills so that I do not have my menses in Ramadan. Please help.
Answer
In this counseling answer:
•You can do other activities when you have your period that will enhance your spirituality, your closeness to Allah and your feelings of continued participation. These include volunteering with the needy, preparing food for the hungry or homeless, organizing fundraising drives for those in need, etc.
•You stated that you always feel anxious and shy when you get your period. These emotions may be tied to hormonal changes.
•Talk to your mother about some of your feelings and ask her if she ever felt this way.
•Having your period during Ramadan is just another part of your sacrifice. There are blessings in it.
As salamu alaikum and Ramadan Mubarak dear sister.
As I understand your question, you always feel anxious about having your period, especially in Ramadan.
We Look Forward to the Month of Ramadan
Sister, many go through these feelings of anxiousness especially when getting their menses during Ramadan. Ramadan is a month we all look forward to. It comes once a year and is it is our most holy month. We love the opportunity to make the best of the month of Ramadan. Anything that may deter or prevent us from fully engaging in our activities of worship are disappointing. Millions of Muslim women worldwide, however, experience your situation.
Making up Days
Sister, as you know, you do not have to fast while you have your period. If fasting negatively affects your health, or how you feel due to menstruation, you are not obligated to fast. If you choose not to fast, as you know, you do have to make the days. You can do this later by fasting, or you can make the days up now by providing food for those in need, buying or making meals for others on those days in which you cannot fast.
Anxious Feelings
You stated that you always feel anxious and shy when you get your period. These emotions may be tied to the hormonal changes, which are going on when you have your period. Some women experience premenstrual syndrome in which you may feel bloated, get headaches or feel moody.
Other signs of premenstrual syndrome is feeling anxious, feeling tension, feeling depressed, crying, and so forth. If it continues to bother you, you may wish to see your family doctor or an OB/GYN for evaluation. It is normal to feel a little off sometimes during our periods as our bodies are going through changes, but not to an extreme.
Participate in Other Activities
You can do other activities when you have your period that will enhance your spirituality, your closeness to Allah and your feelings of continued participation. These include volunteering with the needy, preparing food for the hungry or homeless, organizing fundraising drives for those in need, assisting an elderly neighbor that may need help, making food for friends and relatives, and so forth.
When we are menstruating, we surely do miss the activities we are used to doing not only in Ramadan but throughout the whole year as well. However, we must remember that it is only for a few days and that are periods indicate that we have a biological process going on that enables us to bring forth life into the world. That is a blessing!
Therefore, the seven days or so that we menstruate, we should look at as a gift from Allah, as it provides a gateway to bring life into the world. The little inconveniences that we may go through or experience should be minor when compared the over-all amazing ability to conceive and giving life (if one chooses).
Feeling Shy and Reclusive
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As far as feeling shy in front of your fathers and brothers, there is no reason to feel shy sister. In fact, they probably do not even know when you are menstruating. You may wish to speak with your mother and ask how she feels when she menstruates. Talk to her about some of your feelings and ask her if she ever felt this way. Perhaps she can be of support and give you some examples of how she dealt with some of the feelings you may be going through. By talking with your mom, she may provide some useful tips and reassure you, thus reducing your nervousness and desire to be reclusive in your room.
Contemplating Taking Pills to Stop Period
As far as taking pills to stop your period in Ramadan, I am assuming you mean hormonal pills such as the birth control pill. I cannot advise it for that reason. It would be going against your body’s natural functioning and I do not advise it especially as the reason is to just participate in Ramadan.
Periods are a natural bodily process and Ramadan is a month of sacrifice. Look at it this way, sister.Having your period during Ramadan is just another part of your sacrifice. There are blessings in it.
Conclusion
Sister, please do find other activities and things to do during those seven days to compensate and bring you joy.
Speak to your mother about how you feel and seeks tips from here as to how she may have coped with similar feelings.
Try to look at your menses from a different perspective, one that enables you if you chose, to bring life into the world one day.
We wish you the best you are in our prayers.
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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.
Read more:
Having Your Period in Ramadan? Here Are 7 Ways to Stay Positive