13 July, 2020
Q
I am currently studying clinical psychology. I didn’t know that children are products through sex. I thought that it’s haram in Islam and that only non-Muslims do it. Just recently I learned in my subject that it’s also what Muslims do. I was quiet shocked.
I also learned that everyone has sexual desires and feelings. I also learned many things about sex and it’s diseased and what is happening around. I’m afraid of these sexual feelings and many times I am questioning myself whether I’m having sexual feelings and desires. I’m sacred that thinking about sexual feelings is inappropriate. I don’t think about sex... It’s just that it’s quite frustrating that every time I’m asking myself: Do I have sexual feelings? Is my mind dirty? Is it normal or not? Are these my hormones?
Tell me what I should do to behave the same as before when I didn’t know about these kinds of stuff? I have Googled it many times and believe me I think reading Google is making my mind dirtier. I’m not having any desires or thoughts. It’s just a question that always comes to my mind that whether I’m having thoughts or not.
My teacher gave me work to meditate and I don’t do it now because I think that I might start having sexual thoughts.
Regarding masturbation, I used to do it when I was about 12 or 13, but I didn’t know that it’s masturbation. Just a year ago, I sort of left it because doing it made me feel dirty and I wanted to cut off the hand with which I did it. So I stopped doing it. Alhamdulillah!
I also learned that everyone has sexual desires and feelings. I also learned many things about sex and it’s diseased and what is happening around. I’m afraid of these sexual feelings and many times I am questioning myself whether I’m having sexual feelings and desires. I’m sacred that thinking about sexual feelings is inappropriate. I don’t think about sex... It’s just that it’s quite frustrating that every time I’m asking myself: Do I have sexual feelings? Is my mind dirty? Is it normal or not? Are these my hormones?
Tell me what I should do to behave the same as before when I didn’t know about these kinds of stuff? I have Googled it many times and believe me I think reading Google is making my mind dirtier. I’m not having any desires or thoughts. It’s just a question that always comes to my mind that whether I’m having thoughts or not.
My teacher gave me work to meditate and I don’t do it now because I think that I might start having sexual thoughts.
Regarding masturbation, I used to do it when I was about 12 or 13, but I didn’t know that it’s masturbation. Just a year ago, I sort of left it because doing it made me feel dirty and I wanted to cut off the hand with which I did it. So I stopped doing it. Alhamdulillah!
Answer
Salam Alaikum,
In this counseling video, you will learn:
• Sex is enjoyable for women too.
• It is the highest intimacy between a husband and a wife, so we must learn about it.
• Having sexual thoughts and being a dirty person are two different things.
• It is normal to have sexual thoughts and desires. Until you are not married, control it: lower your gaze, do not indulge in activities that might lead you to commit zina.
• However, Allah created sex and sexual thoughts, so inshallah when you are married, enjoy it.
• Continue educating yourself further about sex.