On one side, I really like this guy and I would love to be with him. But on the other side it’s against my religion. I‘m a terrified teenager that can’t hide her feelings for a boy.
Please, I need advice. What should I do?
Answer
In this counseling answer:
• Keep yourself busy in useful activities.
• Always keep Allah in mind in all that you do.
• Make sure you don’t end up in a scenario where you might act upon your feelings.
Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatulahi wa barakatuh sister,
What you have been experiencing is quite normal for a girl of your age. As your hormones develop, you will find yourself having such feelings. Alhamdulillah, as a Muslim, you are aware of what you should and should not do with these feelings.
To act upon these feelings and engage in a relationship with him would be haram and displeasing to Allah. You do not want to make Him angry with you.
Alhamdulillah, there are many things that you can do to save yourself from falling into sin.
Firstly, do all you can to make sure you don’t end up in a scenario where you might act upon your feelings. So, avoid free mixing and instead opt for being around other girls. Avoid talking to boys unnecessarily and being alone with them. Be sure that there are always other girls around.
Secondly, always keep Allah in mind in all that you do. Let this constant reminder serve to keep you away from haram for the sake of pleasing Him. You can do this by ensuring to remember Allah often.
Conduct your prayers and also do voluntary acts. Pray nafl prayers, make dhikr and read Qur’an. All these builds on the remembrance of Allah that you will keep Him in mind in all that you do. This will help you stay clear of those things that you know He will not judge favorably such as being with any other boy.
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Finally, keep yourself busy in useful activities. Having too much spare time can easily lead you to do things that are not good. If you always have something to do, such as a hobby, not only will you not have the time to do such things, but you also won’t talk about doing them as you are too busy with other things. These types of activities will also provide you with the chance to get motivated and achieve things and feel good about yourself.
These are often motivations that push people to commit sin in the first place as a means to have these desires satisfied. If you take a proactive approach to have these needs met and find ways to do this yourself then you will be less inclined to search for these in haram ways such as seeking a boyfriend.
May Allah reward your concern to not commit haram and maybe guide you on the straight path ad you experience the wider world.
Salam,
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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.
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