How can I tell them that I am now a Muslim?
Note: my parents are Christians and my dad does not like Muslims.
In fact he always tells me not to marry a Muslim lady....so this has always battled my mind because if I should tell him he may not pay attention to me anymore like paying my school fees.
I am still a student and am still living with them. Please help me out.
Answer
In this counseling answer:
The first step you might consider taking is to sit and think about your options.
Also you could take a more gradual approach by beginning to talk about Islam a bit casually at first in passing conversation.
The next step is to weigh up the pros and cons of each of these options.
Give it time to think about which decision is the best to take rather than jumping in with a decision that you didn’t spend much time thinking about.
As-Salamu ‘Alaikum,
Ma sha’ Allah, Allah (swt) has guided you to the straight path. Alhamdulillah, what a beautiful blessing! However, for many people like yourself, as well as being a blessed process, it also comes with many challenges, one of which is telling the family.
This is especially difficult when the family is against Islam. The biggest challenge usually lies within telling the parents because it comes with a number of emotions like the ones you are facing.
Respect for parents
We love our parents very dearly. They raised us and deserve our respect and we do not want to let them down.
But at the same time you have made a big change in your life and having a relationship with them without telling them might come with as many challenges as telling them.
You might feel guilty for keeping a secret from them or like you have let them down.
At this stage, it is likely that your thoughts are all over the place as you ponder what to do and how to do it.
First steps
The first step you might consider taking is to sit and think about your options. What can you do now? You could just come out and tell them straight out. Or you can hide it from them.
Also you could take a more gradual approach by beginning to talk about Islam a bit casually at first in passing conversation. Perhaps you could introduce a Muslim friend (so that they see that not all Muslims are bad and you are in good company).
Check out this counseling video:
Pros and cons
The next step is to weigh up the pros and cons of each of these options. You might write it down so you can visually see the options laid next to each other and think about them more clearly.
What are the possible outcomes of each option? Knowing your parents, what is the most likely outcome? What will be the worst case scenario? Put it away and come back to it again after a few days.
Maybe you’ve had more thoughts on the issue that you think needs considering also. To help you make a decision, think about what is most important to you and what will Allah (swt) be most pleased with.
Keeping this in mind as you weigh up your options will make it a lot easier to come to a clear conclusion.
Give it time
Give it time to think about which decision is the best to take rather than jumping in with a decision that you didn’t spend much time thinking about.
This way you can be more confident that you made the best decision with much thought and are less likely to regret your choices.
Whilst doing this continue to pray istikharah. Ask Allah (swt) to guide you to make the best decision. This way you can relax knowing that Allah (swt) will ultimately push you on the best path for you and guide you to make the best choice.
May guide you to make the decision that is best for you and your family and most pleasing to Him. May He guide you and your parents on the straight path and bring peace and happiness in your lives.
Salam,
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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.
Read more:
https://aboutislam.net/counseling/ask-about-parenting/young-hearts-minds/parents-dont-understand/
https://aboutislam.net/counseling/ask-about-islam/i-converted-to-islam-but-how-to-tell-my-parents/
https://aboutislam.net/spirituality/using-quranic-framework-al-imran-life-changing-moments/