I’m Obsessed with a Singer; I Feel So Bad

04 July, 2020
Q Assalamalikum,

I actually liked an artist and followed her on every social media site.

I once attended her concert and missed two of my salat.

I feel so bad because I feel like I have committed a shirk and I feel so depressed because it is a huge sin.

Moreover, what makes me feel so bad is that if I read a hadith or anything related to people, I think of her first and I feel really bad because i feel like I’ve been spending so much time on her than my creator.

Lastly, I feel like I have done so much sin because of how I liked that artist.

What should I do?Please help me.

Answer


In this counseling answer:

The first piece of advice is to turn to Allah in repentance.

Remember, Allah is The Most Merciful and Forgiving.

 You should make sure to be gradually increasing your acts of ibadah as a means to get closer to Him as well as purifying yourself too.

You can help yourself with this by keeping in good company with other sisters.

When you find yourself thinking about that singer, distract these thoughts by engaging in any productive activity or thinking about something else.

Always remind yourself of possible negative impacts this obsession might have on your life and on your mental well-being.

Unfollow and unfriend anyone who might be encouraging you to a path of sin either directly or indirectly. 

Follow beneficial Islamic pages. 


Walaikum sister, 

The fact that you feel remorseful for your behaviour is a positive sign and go is hope that you can overcome this. You are reaching out for help on the matter which is the next step to successfully beating this. 

Advice

The first piece of advice is to turn to Allah in repentance. The sins you have committed are against Him, so take all this energy of remorse to Him and repent. Remember, Allah is The Most Merciful and Forgiving.

Find solace in the remembrance of His mercy and ask Him to continue to guide you on the straight path.

In accordance with this, you should make sure to be gradually increasing your acts of ibadah as a means to get closer to Him as well as purifying yourself too.

I'm Obsessed with a Singer; I Feel So Bad - About Islam

Keeping busy

Doing so will keep you busy in more meaningful activities as well as strengthen your fear of Him that you will be deterred from turning to harm and committing further sin.

You can help yourself with this by keeping in good company with other sisters who will encourage you in the Deen as well as engage you in activities that will be more conducive to you in this life and the next. 


Check out this counseling video:


Social media

The nature of Social media can easily get people sucked into things like this. Which is a very big twat for us as Muslims. Especially when alot of these things that they seem to be guiding us towards are haram, such as music events.

However, at the same time social media can be used for positive things too. So it’s not like it’s a must to delete it altogether. But there are ways of moderating and managing how and when you spend your time using it and for what purposes. There are a few ways you can do this. 

Unfollow and unfriend anyone who might be encouraging you to a path of sin either directly or indirectly. 

Follow beneficial Islamic pages. This way your social media page will see a reduction in posts relating to Islam and important issues according to the same and away from posts that are not beneficial. 

Set a time limit for how long you can spend on social media each day

Have a dedicated day off (at least) once a week where you do not access social media at all. You might gradually increase the amount of days where you don’t use social media until you feel less of a need for it and are less vulnerable than succumbing to its powers to attract people. 

Don’t allow yourself to use it until you have completed certain acts of worship, such as reading a set amount of Quran pages.. Etc.. This will also be a way to strengthen your imaan that you will feel less inclined to use it following engaging in an act of worship. 

Have a set time each day that you use social media that falls at a time that doesn’t not interfere with salah. This way you can satisfy your desire to use social media, but at a time that does not lead you to miss prayer. 

May Allah forgive you and guide you to what is best and most pleasing to Him. 

Salam,

Editor’s note:

Sister, we would like to add few points to the counselor’s answer:

  • When you find yourself thinking about that singer, distract these thoughts by engaging in any productive activity or thinking about something else.
  • Always remind yourself of possible negative impacts this obsession might have on your life and on your mental well-being.

***

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees are liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

Read more:

https://aboutislam.net/reading-islam/finding-peace/remembering-allah/7-tips-improving-relationship-quran/

https://aboutislam.net/spirituality/4-ways-to-increase-your-love-for-allah/

https://aboutislam.net/counseling/ask-about-islam/build-relationship-allah/

About Hannah Morris
Hannah Morris is a mum of 4 and she currently works as Counsellor and Instructor of BSc. Psychology at the Islamic Online University (IOU). She obtained her MA degree in Psychology and has over 10 years of experience working in health and social care settings in the UK, USA, and Ireland. Check out her personal Facebook page, ActiveMindCare, that promotes psychological well-being in the Ummah. (www.facebook.com/activemindcare)