Answer
Wa `alaykum as-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
In this fatwa:
Your late father can know when you visit him, and he will also be able to hear and return your greetings, besides benefiting from your duaa and good deeds on his behalf.
As for your question, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and Muslim scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Canada, states:
Visiting graves is a Sunnah, as the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was reported to have said, “I have previously prohibited you from visiting graves, now visit them.“ (Muslim)
The answer to this question is yes; as we can rightly conclude from the authentic sources of Islam, your late father can know when you visit him, and he will also be able to hear and return your greetings, besides benefiting from your duaa and good deeds on his behalf.
To further clarify the issue, this question asks about an area or realm that is beyond the confines of logic, reason, or experimentation.
It is grounded exclusively on the area of Heavenly Revelation.
As far as we can know from the Revelation, it is clear that those who are buried in graves not only identify their visitors, if they had known them prior to their death, but also return their greetings.
The Prophet (peace be and blessings be upon him) has left for us clear instructions to visit the graves of our relatives and friends, to greet them and to utter prayers for them. This is lest we forget them after their death.
Through frequent visits to their graves, we renew our relationship with them, invoke Allah’s Mercy upon them, and remind ourselves of our final destination in the next world.
Such instructions, as it comes clear from pondering, will have no meaning unless it is a fact that the grave dwellers are actually able to recognize their visitors and to return their greetings.
The Prophet taught us to visit the graves of our relatives and friends and offer greetings by saying, “Greetings of peace be unto you, O the believers dwelling in these residences; with Allah’s Leave, we will also be joining you in the near future; may Allah forgive us, you, and all Muslims“ (Muslim)
Furthermore, referring to the disbelievers who were killed in the Battle of Badr, the Prophet was asked by `Umar Ibn Al-Khattab, “Do you talk to them while they have rotted?” He replied, “In fact, you are not better able to hear me than them; but they cannot respond to me” (Muslim)
To conclude, you should continue to visit the grave of your late father and to greet him and offer prayers and supplications on his behalf. Insha’ Allah, he will be able to identify you when you visit him.
Allah Almighty knows best.
Editor’s note: This fatwa is from Ask the Scholar’s archive and was originally published at an earlier date.