Answer
Wa `alaykum as-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
In this fatwa:
1- It is clear from the question that the father is in need of money.
2- Supporting parents financially is an obligation as long as the son is able to do so. It is not wise to stop supporting your father due to the reasons you mentioned.
3- Islam calls us to offer charity and support each other starting from one’s parents, for charity begins at home.
Answering your question, the late Grand Sheikh of Al-Azhar Sheikh Jadul Haqq `Ali Jadul Haqq, states:
It is essential that husband and wife speak together on all matters of concern between them. This mutual consultation is the outcome of mercy and love, which represents the essence of marriage.
In fact, Almighty Allah made it obligatory on the children to show gratitude to their parents. This obligation comes, in importance, right after the obligation of worshipping Him.
Almighty Allah says,
{Your Lord has decreed, that you worship none save Him, and (that you show) kindness to parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age with you, say not “Fie” to them nor repulse them, but speak unto them a gracious word.} (Al-Israa 17:23)
This gratitude should not only be confined to cases where parents are in need of their children’s support; rather, it should be in all cases even if the parents are well-off. `Amr ibn Shu`aib reported on the authority of his father and grandfather that a man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and asked: “My father wants to take a large amount of my money, what shall I do?” The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) answered, “You and your money belong to your parents. The purest food you eat is what you earn yourselves. Your children’s money is considered part of your own earnings, so eat from it.” (Ibn Majah)
This hadith indicates that giving to parents is an obligation even if they are rich.
This should be done for the sake of Allah and obtaining their satisfaction. At the same time, this should be done according to the person’s ability and means. He should not burden himself with things he cannot bear; rather, he should help his parents even with a small amount of money according to his means and always bear in mind that Allah will bless this small amount, for He says, {Lo! Allah does not wrong even of the weight of an ant; and if there is a good deed, He will double it and will give (the doer) from His presence an immense reward.} (An-Nisa’ 4:40)
Have trust in Allah that He will grant you more money for anything you spend as long as this is done with pure an intention and sincerity. Allah also says: {For Allah is with you, and will never put you in loss for your (good) deeds.} (Muhammad 47:35)
Allah Almighty knows best.
Editor’s note: This fatwa is from Ask the Scholar’s archive and was originally published at an earlier date.