I Thought I Married a Pious Man

25 July, 2018
Q Assalamualaikum.

I am really a depressed sister crying for help. I am married for 7 years and have been blessed with 2 kids alhumdulilah.. I have several issues in my married life.

I married a man whose proposal was bought by my parent’s and his parents. On the night of our wedding I get to know that he has vitiligo. He hid this fact from me and my parents. Somehow I convinced myself that it's not a big deal and continued to live ahead though I was deeply hurt feeling that I was cheated. But somehow I convinced myself that it is Allah's wish before wedding he had told me that he liked 2 girls earlier and those relationships didn't lead to wedding as his parents didn't like them. I was ok with this as it was his past and agreed to marry him.

Post wedding, everything was ok until my son was born after that I caught my husband chatting with indecent women and watching him porn. I felt dejected n cheated because I am a girl who fears Allah and is punctual in my prayers. I felt Allah shouldn’t have done this to me. Why haven’t I got a pious husband?

Things went on but what changed in my life is I stopped trusting my husband because I didn't believe him. He has lied a lot. I can never trust him again. Whenever I want to move ahead in life I get reminded of his past and his cheating and his lying and never believe him.

How should I get my husband to be pious and love me? I want this marriage to work because I believe in the institution of marriage. I always read this dua each time in all my prayers rabbana hablana min azwajina.... Why is it not working? Please help!

Answer

Salam Aleikom,

In this counseling video, you will learn some tips on how you can help your spouse strengthen his or her relationship with Allah and, thus, strengthen your marriage.

 

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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

About Hannah Morris
Hannah Morris is a mum of 4 and she currently works as Counsellor and Instructor of BSc. Psychology at the Islamic Online University (IOU). She obtained her MA degree in Psychology and has over 10 years of experience working in health and social care settings in the UK, USA, and Ireland. Check out her personal Facebook page, ActiveMindCare, that promotes psychological well-being in the Ummah. (www.facebook.com/activemindcare)