My Husband Took a Second Wife Behind My Back

23 July, 2017
Q I am an older American Christian married to a much younger Muslim. He told me he would move here if we were married but after completing the paperwork he changed his mind and said he could not leave his country due to family obligations. I work a government job and have only 7 years left to retire so I can't move to his country. While we were trying to figure out what to do his communication with me became less and less to the point of days with not one message. Several months ago he began telling me that his mom was pushing him to marry someone there and have kids even though he told me he did not want kids. I was so upset we began arguing over it constantly. Then his cousin tells me to look at his Facebook page and there was a new pic posted of him in a suit and Arabic comments that when I translated said "congratulations to our groom!” When I confronted him he denied it and promptly blocked me from his Facebook page. Now months later when I finally sent him the divorce papers he is refusing to sign them and says he does not want a divorce. When I asked what really happened with this other woman he says "we made a contract of marriage but I couldn't continue" so after saying he had NOT married someone else now what he is telling me is that he DID marry someone else! Knowing that this would hurt me to the core yet he did it anyway. How can his mother and aunt and father have absolutely no regard for my feelings? I am a good person and did nothing but love this woman's son. I don't understand. He says it is all his mother's idea.

Answer

Answer:

As-Salamu ‘Aleikom,

Thank you for submitting your question.

In this video, the counselor will respond to the following questions:

Islamically, does a husband need to tell his first wife he married someone else?

What steps to take after learning your husband married a second wife?

Would divorce be the best choice?

What’s most important after a divorce?

 

Salam,

Related Topics:

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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

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About Hannah Morris
Hannah Morris is a mum of 4 and she currently works as Counsellor and Instructor of BSc. Psychology at the Islamic Online University (IOU). She obtained her MA degree in Psychology and has over 10 years of experience working in health and social care settings in the UK, USA, and Ireland. Check out her personal Facebook page, ActiveMindCare, that promotes psychological well-being in the Ummah. (www.facebook.com/activemindcare)