03 June, 2020
Q
We are married for 28 years. Recently, we moved after my husband purchased a large business. My husband has a friendship with a former employee age 23. He has bought her jewelry, lunch, took her for dinner with her mom. She’s visited our home.
Recently, she started a job that includes dancing in clubs, private parties, and sexual activities. She earns lots of money for school. She works 3 days. She got an apartment near us. My husband co-signed for her bought her furniture and watches her cat when she is working in the city. She constantly calls and texts him, most recently with a picture of her naked. Her grandma found out what she was doing and took her car away.
Now my husband lets her drive his car and takes mine, so I’m home alone with no transport. His friend warned me that she was looking for a “sugar Daddy” to pay for stuff buy food, etc. My husband says he only wants to help her, as she is doing wrong. I feel he is going to get trapped into a relationship with her, but he says no! I told him I was going to the Imam to counsel him, and he laughed at me, said I had nothing to worry about.
I found out he took her somewhere two days ago, while I sat home alone, and would have liked to go with him, but wasn’t invited. He never takes me out, goes shopping with me, or invites me to go anywhere excepting to his business place.
Many years ago he had a friendship with a married girl in the military, and she was in love with him and left her husband. She wrote him a letter expressing her love, but he rejected her, as he was trying to get her to marry his cousin!
I just feel he has this pattern of wanting to help young women or is attracted to them, and I fear he will eventuality leave despite how much he says he cares for me. I am not young anymore or pretty. I try to keep myself looking nice and wear nice things, but he doesn’t seem to pay attention. I try to cook things he likes, do all the bills, manage the house, etc. our children are grown and live away from us.
What else can I do to try to dissuade him from his friendship, and avoid any trouble?
Recently, she started a job that includes dancing in clubs, private parties, and sexual activities. She earns lots of money for school. She works 3 days. She got an apartment near us. My husband co-signed for her bought her furniture and watches her cat when she is working in the city. She constantly calls and texts him, most recently with a picture of her naked. Her grandma found out what she was doing and took her car away.
Now my husband lets her drive his car and takes mine, so I’m home alone with no transport. His friend warned me that she was looking for a “sugar Daddy” to pay for stuff buy food, etc. My husband says he only wants to help her, as she is doing wrong. I feel he is going to get trapped into a relationship with her, but he says no! I told him I was going to the Imam to counsel him, and he laughed at me, said I had nothing to worry about.
I found out he took her somewhere two days ago, while I sat home alone, and would have liked to go with him, but wasn’t invited. He never takes me out, goes shopping with me, or invites me to go anywhere excepting to his business place.
Many years ago he had a friendship with a married girl in the military, and she was in love with him and left her husband. She wrote him a letter expressing her love, but he rejected her, as he was trying to get her to marry his cousin!
I just feel he has this pattern of wanting to help young women or is attracted to them, and I fear he will eventuality leave despite how much he says he cares for me. I am not young anymore or pretty. I try to keep myself looking nice and wear nice things, but he doesn’t seem to pay attention. I try to cook things he likes, do all the bills, manage the house, etc. our children are grown and live away from us.
What else can I do to try to dissuade him from his friendship, and avoid any trouble?
Answer
Salam Aleikom,
In this counseling video, you will learn some tips on how to deal with a husband who cheats on you:
• Get someone involved and confront your husband
• Don’t sit quietly; speak up for yourself
• Text the girlfriend
• What are your reasons you want your husband to stop this behavior?
Watch more:
Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.