01 June, 2020
Q
Assalamualaikum,
I’m Alhamdulillah married for 12 years and have 2 beautiful kids.
From the start of our marriage, my husband has been lying to me in almost everything. I don’t know why he lies even when it’s not needed.
This habit of his has never made me trust him from the beginning and I never fell into that kind of attachment with him as a husband-wife should have.
He has even lied to me about my parents. I was lonely in my marriage, and I know I can’t justify this, but I fell in love with another man because of my unhappiness in my marriage.
My husband provided me with everything in life, but sometimes he would count whatever he gave me. I can’t justify my sin but that’s what happened with me.
Now my husband came to know about my affair, and it was a big problem, but I realized and apologized, and Allah knows I repented sincerely.
At first, my husband wanted to divorce me, but Allah listened to my prayers I believe, and my husband stayed with me.
However, he taunts and tortures me a lot. I agree with his behavior as I have wronged him, but he has even gone as far as stopped my parents from visiting me or me visiting them or even talking over the phone.
He has absolutely stopped my communications with my blood relatives, and as soon as any of them come to visit me he gets angry and fights with me.
Some things are normal in our relations, but all the while he is continuously torturing me verbally, sometimes very unreasonably. He has put false blame on my parents and my siblings and as per his usual habit he lies a lot, giving false reasons and allegations on me and my family.
I swear to Allah we are all very clean-hearted people and we never do bad to anyone, and in this marriage, I have always supported my husband in all his ups and downs. My family has always treated him as a son and gave all the love they can.
Now, because of my one mistake, my husband forgot all the good they did to him and abuses them and curses them and tortures me.
I have two kids ma sha’ Allah and I will do anything for them and their good future.
I pray to Allah SWT all the time to give my husband the guidance to think and act rightly.
What should I do to help him and myself, and to overcome this hurdle in our lives? Please advise me.
I’m Alhamdulillah married for 12 years and have 2 beautiful kids.
From the start of our marriage, my husband has been lying to me in almost everything. I don’t know why he lies even when it’s not needed.
This habit of his has never made me trust him from the beginning and I never fell into that kind of attachment with him as a husband-wife should have.
He has even lied to me about my parents. I was lonely in my marriage, and I know I can’t justify this, but I fell in love with another man because of my unhappiness in my marriage.
My husband provided me with everything in life, but sometimes he would count whatever he gave me. I can’t justify my sin but that’s what happened with me.
Now my husband came to know about my affair, and it was a big problem, but I realized and apologized, and Allah knows I repented sincerely.
At first, my husband wanted to divorce me, but Allah listened to my prayers I believe, and my husband stayed with me.
However, he taunts and tortures me a lot. I agree with his behavior as I have wronged him, but he has even gone as far as stopped my parents from visiting me or me visiting them or even talking over the phone.
He has absolutely stopped my communications with my blood relatives, and as soon as any of them come to visit me he gets angry and fights with me.
Some things are normal in our relations, but all the while he is continuously torturing me verbally, sometimes very unreasonably. He has put false blame on my parents and my siblings and as per his usual habit he lies a lot, giving false reasons and allegations on me and my family.
I swear to Allah we are all very clean-hearted people and we never do bad to anyone, and in this marriage, I have always supported my husband in all his ups and downs. My family has always treated him as a son and gave all the love they can.
Now, because of my one mistake, my husband forgot all the good they did to him and abuses them and curses them and tortures me.
I have two kids ma sha’ Allah and I will do anything for them and their good future.
I pray to Allah SWT all the time to give my husband the guidance to think and act rightly.
What should I do to help him and myself, and to overcome this hurdle in our lives? Please advise me.
Answer
Salam Aleikom,
In this counseling video, you will learn:
Every marital conflict takes two people.
Have open conversations with your husband on how do you feel.
Talk about your feelings sincerely. Use the word “I feel hurt by…”
Take full responsibility for your actions in front of Allah.
Seek counseling help.
Watch more:
Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees are liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.