10 May, 2020
Q
I have been married for over 30 years. Recently my husband has been conducting a secret affair with a woman from Thailand. He visits her and sends money. Otherwise, although he is generally a hardworking man, he has a problem with taking credit and extending loans and has in the past been made bankrupt.
Our house is on an interest only mortgage and he wants to renew the loan. I would prefer to downsize and not have a mortgage.
I do not approve of this behavior, but when pressed he denies he is doing anything wrong and flies into a rage. I am frustrated with the lack of financial security and infidelity. I am considering separating from him and making my own way as I am still able to work. What would you advise?
Our house is on an interest only mortgage and he wants to renew the loan. I would prefer to downsize and not have a mortgage.
I do not approve of this behavior, but when pressed he denies he is doing anything wrong and flies into a rage. I am frustrated with the lack of financial security and infidelity. I am considering separating from him and making my own way as I am still able to work. What would you advise?
Answer
Salam Aleikom,
In this counseling answer:
Involve someone else in this conflict. The best would be a person your husband respects.
Someone needs to stop him doing such a haram act.
You have the full right to do whatever you want; it depends on what you want to tolerate and not.
The most important is your relationship with Allah.
You may want to contact this woman and inform her and tell her about the situation.
Stand by whatever you have decided. Don’t say you are leaving, then you change your mind.