Stepmother Uses Black Magic to Control My Father

07 June, 2017
Q I am writing to you because I do not know what else to do. It is about my family. I have a question about black magic. I know that my step mom uses it. Ever since she got married to my father everything was doomed. It has now been eleven years. My dad and my mom are separated. All he cares about is her and her children. It is like he lost his mind. Do you know any of that? He needs help. I do not want him to die like that. My mom said she is divorcing him because she said my dad was not like that. She hopes one day Allah will help him. They were married for twelve years before my stepmother came in. Now I am not happy with him. I wish I could help him. She is using him as a child. They are in America and my mom is in Guinea. May Allah bless you and recompense you for your great job. I ask Allah to forgive and to guide us.

Answer

 


In this counseling answer:

No one can be controlled against his/her will. Therefore, the counselor advises the questioner to sit down, write her concerns in details about the situation, and share them with the father. He needs to take responsibility fo his actions.


Dear Sister,

First, rather than focusing on your stepmother or her use of black magic, we would like to shift the burden onto your father. The reality is that no one can be used “like a child” against his will. Your father is not a passive observer in this situation and, therefore, he needs to take responsibility for his actions.

He needs to know that he is not only hurting his own children from the first marriage but that his new wife does not have his best interests in mind. You cannot begin to address this situation without first making sure that you have done everything possible to have your father involved actively in addressing your concerns. He is your father and you have certain rights over him.

Sit down and write out your concerns so that you are being as factual and objective as possible. Then, make sure to bring to your father’s attention some of those written concerns. Remember, he is your father first and then he is the husband of your stepmother!

Second, it is not clear to us whether you still live with your birth mother or you actually live with your father and stepmother. The reason this is an important point is that you could petition your father to allow you to live with your birthmother.

Perhaps you also need to be in touch with your birth mother so that she knows how difficult life is for you living with your father. You said your birth mother does already know that your father is not behaving in a normal way so perhaps you could convince her to advocate having you live with her instead. The idea is not to abandon your father necessarily but rather to have you grow up in comfort and solace with your birth mother rather than to constantly worry about the black magic of your stepmother.

Finally, please seek the help of Allah (swt) through lots of du`aa’ (supplication). Your family is very important to you and you need them to be able to deal with the challenges you are facing. Be careful not to delay addressing this situation for too long. Remember to be factual and objective as much as possible and make du`aa’ to Allah (swt) for the best.

And Allah (swt) knows best.

***

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

About Dr. Abdullah Abdur Rahman
Dr. Abdullah Abdur Rahman had obtained his Masters and PhD in Social Work and has worked in the US as a licensed social worker since then. His focus is on counseling Muslims in non-Muslim countries, with special emphasis on life in North America, counseling adolescents, pre-marital counseling, online counseling for married couples and da`wah (inviting people to Islam).