Why Does Allah Not Help Me?

01 August, 2019
Q Asalaamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu my brother/sister.

For a couple of years, I’m going through a tough phase of my life. Maybe Allah (swt) is not happy with me. I have committed sin not one but many times. I keep praying for Allah’s forgiveness. I pray sometimes. Maybe this is the problem. Something inside me is not right. I don’t know how to say it in words. Nothing is working fine with me.

My higher studies plans are dropped. I wanted to move to another country, but this plan failed too. Why is this happening? Recently, I fall in love with a girl. I proposed to her, but it was too late. Only a few days are left for her to get married, and I can’t do anything to stop it. She isn’t happy either with the marriage but for the family’s sake she agreed to it. Why does Allah (SWT) not help me out?

Why am I not getting what I desperately need; a love, a life, a good living life. Alhamdulillah, I have everything whatever Allah (SWT) has provided me. I thank Allah always, but we humans need more. I’m still not settled down in my life. I’m still single/not married. Would you please suggest or motivate or guide me what to do and what not? I’m living a confused life.

Answer


In this counseling answer:

• The first thing you should do based on the information you present is to work on making sure to pray 5 times a day.

• Being in the company of good friends will enable you to feel more connected to your deen and more encouraged to remain on top of your obligations. Furthermore, they might be able to assist you in finding a spouse.

• Understand that if Allah has written something for you, it will happen.


Wa Alaikum salaam wa Rahmatullah wa barakatuh brother,

It seems that you are content with your blessings from Allah, but feel that you are missing that one final piece to bring ultimate happiness in this life; a spouse. Unfortunately, you fear that not finding someone may be a punishment as you do not pray 5 times a day as you know you should.

karim serageldin & naaila clay

Pray 5 times a day

The first thing you should do based on the information you present is to work on making sure to pray 5 times a day. We know that this is an obligation and, therefore, is something that you must do. You will find that as you come to complete this obligation daily, you will find other improvements in your life generally as you experience a sense of positivity and closeness to Allah.

Spend time with other like-minded brothers

Being in the company of good friends will enable you to feel more connected to your deen and more encouraged to remain on top of your obligations. Furthermore, they might be able to assist you in finding a spouse. They can ask within their own circles if there are any sisters seeking a husband. Generally, they will also be able to provide you with support that will make things easier for you emotionally.

Whatever happens is by the will of Allah

Even though you might feel right now that certain things are escaping you, understand that if Allah has written something for you, it will happen. Likewise, if it’s not for you then it won’t happen. Sometimes it can be difficult to accept these things when it’s something that we really desire. However, it is necessary to be confident in Allah’s plan. He is a better planner than all of us and knows best. Increasing your obligatory prayers and getting closer to Him will help you to appreciate this more.


Check out this counseling video:


At the very least, if you still feel like this is a punishment, then be thankful that the punishment is in this life and not the next. However, what is more, likely is that Allah has better plans for you if only you will remain faithful and patient.

May Allah grant you contentment in this life and the next and may He grant you a righteous spouse when the time is right.

Amen,

***

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

Read more:

About Hannah Morris
Hannah Morris is a mum of 4 and she currently works as Counsellor and Instructor of BSc. Psychology at the Islamic Online University (IOU). She obtained her MA degree in Psychology and has over 10 years of experience working in health and social care settings in the UK, USA, and Ireland. Check out her personal Facebook page, ActiveMindCare, that promotes psychological well-being in the Ummah. (www.facebook.com/activemindcare)