I started learning Tajweed and the proper ways to read namaaz, but it is really difficult for me to remember the rules of Tajweed and the surahs (the rules in particular).
My teacher taught me as well as he can, but the thing is I suffer from dyslexia (I am not trying to make excuses for myself) and often when I can’t remember a surah or I keep making the same mistakes again I fall into depression and think that Allah doesn’t love me.
It makes me feel abandoned and alone. I don’t know what to do.
I am not questioning the oneness of Allah, I believe in that wholeheartedly, it’s just I don’t often know what I am doing if it is right. Or what can I do to make it better?
Also, right now I have canceled my Tajweed lessons because of something that has happened, but I am questioning my faith too much. Is there anything I can do because I fear I may be committing a sin. Is there anything that I could or should be doing better to stop this from happening.
As I am having difficulty even now to understand the deen. I watch videos about Islam on YouTube and often read books but at the end, I’m filled with more questions than answers. I just get more confused.
I am just wondering is there any particular dua I can learn/make to help with this, or anything else that can help me stay close to Allah and avoid the path of kuffar.
Answer
In this counseling answer:
• As someone with dyslexia, perhaps you may even prefer to record your notes rather than write them down.
• Regarding having multiple questions, try writing them down as they come to mind first. You may find that you answer them all by yourself as you listen to more lectures.
• Allah tests those He loves most. Your test is your struggle with dyslexia. The good news is that this doesn’t have to stop you doing everything that you want to, because you can.
Wa alaikum salaam wa rahmatulahi wa barakatuh brother,
May Allah reward your struggle to please Him. What you are experiencing is usual. We all experience some difficulty in perfecting our religion. Some may struggle with their eman, some struggle with reading Qur’an and some with maintaining focus in salah. This is normal and is all part of the test.
When experiencing these difficulties, it’s easy to just feel like giving up. This is also normal. The hard part is to keep going when it feels like things will never get any better.
You struggle with dyslexia which is making learning the Qur’an a challenge for you. The good news is the Allah rewards by intention.
Your intentions are pure – to learn to read properly, yet you feel like you are making little progress due to your dyslexia.
Remember that just because someone can read perfectly even though they spend less time practicing than you do not make them any better than you or mean that their reward will be greater.
In fact, the fact that you have struggled hard to read only 1 line will be rewarded even more. Just because others can’t see your efforts and struggles, doesn’t mean Allah can’t. He can! Use this as a motivation to keep pushing. It may take you longer, but with persistence and prayer, you will get there, in sha Allah.
Continue to reach out to Allah, ask Him for help, cry to Him even and keep at it. Look to the struggles of those before us, especially Musa (AS) who succeeded despite a speech impediment. Just because he had a speech impediment, it did not mean that Allah did not love him. Quite the opposite, in fact!
Check out this counseling video:
It is said that Allah tests those He loves most. Your test is your struggle with dyslexia. The good news is that this doesn’t have to stop you doing everything that you want to, because you can.
What you can also try from a practical perspective is to try alternative ways of learning that might make things easier for you. If you are struggling with learning, try writing notes as you are listening to lectures and refer back to them. Perhaps you will even be able to answer them yourself. If you still can’t, then you can always ask someone of knowledge to help you out.
As someone with dyslexia, perhaps you may even prefer to record your notes rather than write them down. Use the recorder function on your phone to do this. Perhaps, pause the video every 5-10 minutes and record a voice summary.
Another option may be to draw diagrams so you don’t have to rely too heavily on writing lots of words. This is a good technique for visual learners.
Regarding having multiple questions, try writing them down as they come to mind first. You may find that you answer them all by yourself as you listen to more lectures. It is ok to have questions. If you don’t have questions, it’s difficult to fully understand everything.
If you don’t ask, you won’t come to know the answer always. To overcome your fear, begin by writing them down as suggested, then when you go back to them, ask yourself if it is really important for you to know the answer and if it will benefit you. If not, then simply erase it and leave it without questioning anymore.
May Allah reward your desire to please Him and may He guide you on the straight path.
Amen,
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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.
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