In this counseling answer:

•You need to seriously ask yourself what you value more: the very real blessing that you already have – a happy marriage with your current wife – or the prospect of great difficulty, and even more painful emotional turmoil should you seek to marry another woman for the sake of having children (which are not guaranteed to begin with).

•While I understand that many people feel the urge to have biological children of their own, it is worth keeping in mind the manyahadith that speak of the virtues of fostering orphans and adopting them (as per the Islamic method).

Infertility Struggle: Childless Doesn’t Mean Hopeless

As-salaamu ‘alaikum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh,

JazaakAllahu khayran for reaching out to us at AboutIslam.net! We appreciate you trusting us with your question.

To begin with, thank you for being honest about your situation, and for expressing care and concern for your wife, as well as being cautious in pursuing the matter of polygamy.

Polygamy is indeed permissible in Islam, with the caveat that a husband must treat his wives justly.

Allah says:

{And if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one or those your right hand possesses. That is more suitable that you may not incline [to injustice].} (Qur’an 4:3)

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever has two wives and favours one of them over the other, will come on the Day of Resurrection with one of his sides leaning.” (Tirmidhi)

Is Polygamy a Solution for Infertility?

In your situation, however, the concern appears less to be about polygamy in general, and more to do with seeking it as an option through which you may have children.

While this is also permissible, the real issue at hand is not whether polygamy for the sake of children is permissible, but whether it is a good idea at all.

Realistically speaking, there is no guarantee that you will have children with a second wife – or, for that matter, whether that second marriage would be a happy and healthy one to begin with. You do not know whether the second wife would be a good mother, and so on.

The entire situation is a hypothetical one, with many possibilities of failure. To be honest, most polygamous marriages tend to end badly, even when pursued with the best of intentions.

What you should seriously consider instead is the state of your current marriage, and whether you truly want to endanger your loving relationship with your wife.

Healthy, happy marriages are – sadly – not as common as one would like to think. A loving, righteous spouse is one of Allah’s greatest blessings that He bestows upon His slaves.

You need to seriously ask yourself what you value more: the very real blessing that you already have – a happy marriage with your current wife – or the prospect of great difficulty, and even more painful emotional turmoil should you seek to marry another woman for the sake of having children (which are not guaranteed to begin with).

Children Are Tests

While children are also described as a blessing, they are also a test for us: whether one has them or not. Many people who have children find themselves struggling to raise them as good Muslims, or find themselves in painful situations with regards to their children.

Allah says: {And know that your possessions and your children are a test, and that with Allah is immense reward.} (Qur’an 8:28)

Check out this counseling video

While I understand that many people feel the urge to have biological children of their own, it is worth keeping in mind the many ahadith that speak of the virtues of fostering orphans and adopting them (as per the Islamic method).

Umm Sa’id bint Murra al-Fihri related from her father that the Prophet (ﷺ), said, “I and the guardian of an orphan will be in the Garden like these two.” He held up two fingers (index and middle) close to each other. (Adab Al-Mufrad)

The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “He who joins an orphan among Muslims in his food and drink until that he can provide for himself; verily he is assured to enter Paradise.” (Muslim, Bukhari)

Abu Hurayra (ra) reported that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “The best house among the Muslims is the house in which orphans are well treated. The worst house among the Muslims is the house in which orphans are ill treated. I and the guardian of the orphan will be in the Garden like that,” indicating his two fingers. (Adab Al-Mufrad)

Why Don’t You Consider Adaptation?

There are so many Muslim children who are orphans or in foster care, who are bereft of their families or being put through painful childhoods due to the foster system in most countries. 

Why not consider adopting one or more such children? For more details on Islamic adoption and fostering, see here.

In the end, it is purely up to you to make the decision as to whether marrying another woman for the sake of having (hypothetical) children is worth losing a good woman and a happy marriage.

It may be that Allah is protecting you and your wife from some kind of harm were you to have children. It may be that Allah is providing you with unknown blessings and rewards if you are patient with this longlining and instead focus your time and energy on endeavors for His Sake.

In parting, I will leave you with the following reminder from the Messenger of Allah (sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam):