Answer
In this counseling answer:
• Think of the negative outcome, notate it if needed as possible, but do not dwell on it.
• You will want to build up your confidence levels so that you can more quickly and effortlessly make good choices, without all the self-doubt and negativity.
As-salaam Alaykum,
Thank you for writing to us. As I understand, you are 18 and have issues with negative thoughts coming to your mind while trying to make decisions.
Sister, this is common to a certain extent. When making decisions, we seek to make the best choice. Thus, we may go over “in our heads” the possible outcomes of a decision. The outcomes would include both good and negative results of our decisions.
However, if we were not raised with positive reinforcement concerning our ability to make decisions or “self” image in general, problems may arise from a lack of confidence.
Sister, I would kindly suggest that insha’Allah you only allow a certain amount of time for negative thoughts. This means, try not to think about a negative outcome for hours on end. Think of the negative outcome, notate it if needed as possible, but do not dwell on it.
Insha’Allah, you may want to make a list of possible outcomes for decisions you are contemplating. Notate both positive and negative. Weigh out all factors and make your decision. This may take some practice especially if you are new to making major decisions or if you suffer from low self-esteem.
In either case, you will want to build up your confidence levels so that you can more quickly and effortlessly make good choices, without all the self-doubt and negativity.
You may want to check out a really helpful blog that centers on dispelling negative thoughts. It involves creating a positive mental attitude, looking at the moment (are you hungry or tired), how to stop making “mountains out of molehills, and another good tip for ending chronic negative thoughts.
Check out this counseling video:
Sister, if you find you are having thoughts that are overwhelming, that interferes with daily activity, or you exhibit other signs and symptoms of anxiety, panic or obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), please do get a referral for counseling. Anxiety disorders are very common and are responsible in some cases for over thinking-negative thinking as well as unwanted thoughts (intrusive).
If you feel this describes you, please do get an assessment as well as counseling on a regular basis. We hope this has helped insha’Allah.
We wish you the best!
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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.
