I talked back to my husband due to my frustrations in my new atmosphere. After that he started threatening me that he will commit suicide.
He would do things like head banging and slapping himself. Then I found out he has an emotional affair.
Now he attempted suicide by hanging himself. The only mistake I made was I talked back to him rudely.
I complained all this to his family but to no avail.
Answer
In this counseling answer:
Approach the situation in a sensitive way.
Put your differences aside for now and support him in encouraging him to seek professional support.
It’s very important for your husband to seek treatment for his mental illness and this should be the first step to take in this matter.
It may be that you require some kind of counselling together to support you in this process.
An easy and free resource is the National Suicide Prevention line at 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255). They are available 24 hours a day 7 days a week.
Assalamalikum sister,
As difficult as things are for the one who tries to commit suicide, this also comes with great difficulty to their loved ones also.
Dealing with it
As his wife it’s only right that you would seek support from family, but it would seem that in this case you did it in such a way that could potentially cause problems as you presented it in terms of expressing your frustration and exposing his sins.
Certainly, what he did was wrong and should be dealt with appropriately, but to complain to his family will cause problems for him and cause added tension between you and him also.
Both of which will only contribute to his poor psychological health right now. This by no means makes what he did OK but it does highlight the necessity to approach the situation in a sensitive way.
Mental health
Regardless of his actions with regards to your relationship, he is clearly exhibiting symptoms of mental health problems. And needs support for this first and foremost before clearing up any relationship difficulties. As he is hardly in the best place to work out relationship issues until his mental health is more stable.
If you are able to put your differences aside for now and support him in encouraging him to seek professional support this would be helpful. However, given everything that has happened perhaps this might not be an option.
In which case you could take the case confidentially to someone else who he may be more responsive to. This might be someone who he is close to in his family, or if not perhaps you might connect with your local imam and approach him this way.
With that said, it’s very important for your husband to seek treatment for his mental illness and this should be the first step to take in this matter.
Check out this counseling video:
Stability
Once his mental health is more stable you will be in a better position to discuss the matter of his emotional affair and how you will move forward with this together. Whether you are willing and able to forgive and move on and work on strengthening your relationship or not. It may be that you require some kind of counselling together to support you in this process.
It is recommended that even if you don’t see staying together as an option that you at least try to make things work by making use of things such as counselling. To ensure that you have tried everything to make it work so that you should eventually leave, you don’t do so with regrets.
Otherwise, if this is not an option then you need to make sure to surround yourself with the support you need from friends and family in making your move away from this relationship.
May Allah make things easy for you at this difficult time and guide you to what is best for you and most pleasing to Allah.
Editor’s Note:
Sister, your husband is experiencing suicidal thoughts and/or ideations, please take these seriously and don’t wait to take action.
An easy and free resource is the National Suicide Prevention line at 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255). They are available 24 hours a day 7 days a week.
Salam,
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Read more:
https://aboutislam.net/family-life/husbands-wives/learning-how-to-heal-trust-again-after-cheating/
https://aboutislam.net/family-life/husbands-wives/in-marriage-pick-your-battles/