It's haram, but I feel I could love her for all my life.
I don't want her to love me, but I want to love her always although I know I will not marry her.
I just want to to keep in touch with her.
Answer
In this counseling answer:
Cutting contact with her as soon as possible is the best way to prevent feelings between you getting any stronger.
Remember Allah as much as possible and fear Him.
Spend more times in acts of worship, especially fasting that serves as an excellent means to control one’s desires.
Arrange some meetings. You may not feel motivated to do this at this point, feeling that you could never meet a woman you love as much as this one. However, in time, as you meet others, you will come to realize that there are other women out there who you could live happily with.
Assalamu alaikum brother,
If the sister you are talking about here is really married already, then please stay away from her for the sake of not falling into sin yourself as well as not being the path for her to fall into sin also.
Even staying in touch with her without any ill intentions at this point can easily lead you to commit sin. This is why it is recommended to stay away. Even if it is only via messaging, the result can still lead to the same. Cutting contact with her as soon as possible is the best way to prevent feelings between you getting any stronger.
Put yourself in the shoes of her husband. If he should find out, then it could potentially destroy their marriage. It will cause issues with trust. It is disrespectful of her to be doing these things behind his back.
How would you feel
How would you feel if you were married and your wife did the same to you?
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It may be difficult to walk away now that you have developed such strong feelings for her, but there are other ways to find love in the correct way that will not lead to sin. If you are looking for marriage, then ask around your friends and family if they know of any sisters looking for marriage.
Keep options open
Arrange some meetings. You may not feel motivated to do this at this point, feeling that you could never meet a woman you love as much as this one. However, in time, as you meet others, you will come to realize that there are other women out there who you could live happily with.
To make this easier for you, remember Allah as much as possible and fear Him. Remembering that what you are doing with her is sinful will provide you with some motivation to cut ties and seek marriage to someone else via permissible means due to the fear of Allah that you carry in your heart.
Spend more times in acts of worship, especially fasting that serves as an excellent means to control one’s desires.
May Allah guide you in the straight path and grant you a righteous spouse who will be the coolness of your eyes in this life and the next.
Salam,
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