Answer
Answer:
As-Salamu ‘Alaykum dear friend,
Congratulations, you have passed the first type of denial which is denial to have a problem. So, this is definitely a big step forward.
You seem to have tried group therapy, rehabilitation, and to heal thought Islam. This shows how hard you are trying and longing for a proper sober life.
Let me first tell you the other types of denials you might be going through so that you know what you are dealing with:
1-Denial of the problem which you have already passed successfully.
2-Denial of the significance of the problem: It says “It’s no big deal; this habit doesn’t affect me; I don’t do it that often” (which you have also passed).
3-Denial of the duration of the problem: “This is a short-term problem; this is only a temporary stage; next week I’ll stop using…etc.”
4-Denial of emotions: “I’m numbed out and can’t change.” This part convinces you that you don’t have the inner resources to help you change which is completely untrue. You do have the power to change, my dear brother, just believe it and you will be amazed at how strong you are.
5-Denial regarding public exposure: “I can’t go back to those AA meetings; I am so ashamed that I couldn’t make it the first time; I can’t let anyone know that I have relapsed.” Don’t ever care about what anybody thinks. You should care more about yourself, and put your goal of being cocaine free as the number one priority.
6-Denial due to pride: “I can do it myself; I don’t need anybody’s help.” It is true that your will plays a major role in getting clean, but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t use some support. So, open up for those who want to help you.
7-Denial of a hazardous lifestyle: “I can still hang out with my addicted friends; I am strong enough; I won’t be tempted to use drugs.” This could be true, but you never really know what kind of pressure you are going to be subjected to. So, why take a risk that could blow your long worked for sobriety?
8-Denial of responsibility: “It’s not my fault.” Sometimes, it hurts so much that somebody has to be blamed for it. Try to take responsibility for the problem you have been facing, because this will help you deal with the problem responsibly and more persistently.
Now, dear brother, the next steps you need to take:
- Take a look at each type of denial and start dealing with them one by one at a time.
- Make a promise to yourself to be a better person; put a plan and start right away.
- Go back to your group therapy sessions; they will definitely be helpful for you. Don’t give up on it.
- Rediscover Islam; I am sure you haven’t been introduced to it, nor practicing it properly, because I know that if you become a real Muslim, it will get you out of all this.
- Search for a committed, sincere, practicing Muslim friend and ask him for help.
- Always remind yourself that you can do it and that you will be the good person you want to be.
- Read about the incidence of death from overdose to assure yourself that’s not how you want to end your life.
- It will be very helpful if you could put a goal for yourself to achieve, and then take steps towards that goal. For example: If you want to join the next marathon, start building up your body and eating the right food for it. Then train harder and harder each day until you actually join the race. The same goes to getting rid of addiction.
I hope my advice were helpful. I would like you to tell us when you succeed, because I am sure you can and you will, in sha’ Allah. May Allah (swt) help you with your struggle and make you strong enough to reach your goal. Ameen.
Salam,
***
Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information that was provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, it’s volunteers, writers, scholars, counselors, or employees be held liable for any direct, indirect, exemplary, punitive, consequential or other damages whatsoever that may arise through your decision or action in the use of the services which our website provides.