Younger Brother Surfing Gay Websites

04 February, 2020
Q Recently I discovered that my half younger brother was searching for gay websites. I was very disturbed and disgusted by his action. He doesn't know that I know about this.I don't know what to do. ,

My relationship with my stepmother is not good, and she doesn't like to be told bad things about her kids. I can't tell my dad about this, because he is not well and I don't want him to worry and make his condition worst. Also, if I tell my dad he might get violent and I don't want to start a fight. Please help. Should I keep quiet?

Answer

In this counseling answer:

•First, try and educate him about those sites and their content and try and find out why he is curious about them.

•It is important to stress the dangers of being overly condemning, for he may or may not understand fully what he is viewing.

•Help him to understand rather than respond with a knee-jerk, fear-based reaction that will probably only result in an inability to make any connection with him about the subject.


As salamu `alaykum, 

Dear sister, my first reaction to your question is that at this point it is probably not a good idea to go to your step-mother or father with this issue. As an older sibling, I would suggest that you sit down and talk with him about what he is viewing, or ask another older sibling or family member to do so.

It is important to stress the dangers of being overly condemning, for he may or may not understand fully what he is viewing. As a 15-year-old, his curiosity in those sites obviously, has been peeked so it is very important that you find out why.

If you condemn him straight away without first trying to understand why he is viewing those sites in the first place, you will risk pushing him away which could be even more detrimental to the overall goal.

First, try and educate him about those sites and their content and try and find out why he is curious about them.It is important to stress the dangers of being overly condemning, for he may or may not understand fully what he is viewing.

Help him to understand rather than respond with a knee-jerk, fear-based reaction that will probably only result in an inability to make any connection with him about the subject.


Check out this counseling video


We are getting more and more questions on this forum -it seems about homosexuality. From what objective scientific, psychological research on homosexuality tells us, homosexuality, though complicated as a phenomenon, often has much to do with parenting and early failures at achieving healthy, appropriate and necessary forms of intimacy.

As we continue to see the breakdown in functional, loving and nurturing relationships, particularly among parents and their children, the phenomenon of homosexuality will continue to grow.

I urge you to read and learn more about this very important issue. I hope this is of assistance. Please write back if you have further questions.

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Read more:

I Caught My Son Surfing Porn Websites!

 

 

About Dr. Abd. Lateef Krauss Abdullah
Dr. Abd. Lateef Krauss Abdullah is a Research Fellow at the Institute for Social Science Study’s Community Education and Youth Studies Laboratory, Universiti Putra Malaysia. He received his B.A. from the University of Delaware (U.S.), his M.S. from Columbia University (U.S.) and his PhD from the Institute for Community & Peace Studies (PEKKA), Universiti Putra Malaysia in 2005 in the field of Youth Studies. Abd. Lateef is an American who has been living in Malaysia since 2001. He is married and has 2 children.