I need your advice. I’m a mother of three children. During fasting Ramadan, I feel myself very nervous and I always shout and yell at my children for the least thing. I tried several times to calm down but in vain.
Now I’m very worried that my behavior will make my children hate Ramadan. Please help me to control my nerve during the holy month. Jazakum Allah Khairan!
Answer
In this counseling answer:
•Stay active in acts of ibadah at all times especially during this month.
•Do fun things with your children. There are many activities that you can be doing with them during this time.
•Make sure to eat a healthy diet during the times that you can eat.
•Learn some simple anger management techniques such as deep breathing, or walking away from a frustrating scenario.
Alaikum salaam wa rahmatulahi wa barakatuh sister,
You are right to be concerned about this, but you are also doing the right thing in stepping up seeking advice.
It is highly likely that your increased agitation during Ramadan could have the impact that you fear in your children as they will come to see Ramadan as the time when mum is more meaningful to them than ever.
This could then cause them to resent this time of year as they begin to feel anxious that the time is coming up.
This will not be helpful to them at all then in the future as they will have no positive connection with the month and will not reap the same benefits as they could at this special time.
All is not lost however as there are plenty of things that you can do to help yourself and them.
•Stay active in acts of ibadah at all times especially during this month. This comes with multiple benefits; the rewards of actually doing the act itself.
The positive impact it will have on your children and finally, it will place a softness in your heart due to increased closeness and awareness of Allah.
Having this constant awareness will make you fear acting negatively towards your children for fear of punishment from Allah.
•Do fun things with your children. There are many activities that you can be doing with them during this time.
There may be events local to you, or if not there are many resources available online that you can do at home with them.
This will enable you to work collaboratively with them doing something fun. This will boost your relations with them as well as encourage positive associations with Ramadan for them which will contribute to developing a love of Islam.
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•Make sure to eat a healthy diet during the times that you can eat. This will have a good physiological effect on your body and ward away any bad actions and words said as a result of anger.
•Learn some simple anger management techniques such as deep breathing, or walking away from a frustrating scenario before saying anything.
And returning to it when you are calm to avoid saying things in the moment of anger this will also have the benefits of teaching your children good anger management skills too.
May Allah reward your desire to amend your difficulties and encourage a love of Ramadan and Islam in your children.
Ameen,
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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.
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