How Should New Muslims Deal With 4th of July and Family Parties?

03 July, 2020

Q Salam, I am a new convert to Islam and have not told my family yet about my conversion. It is coming to summer and it is the busiest time for family parties like graduation parties, birthday parties, and family backyard barbeques. Since my family is non-Muslim, there are almost always alcoholic drinks and pork products involved. Of course, I do not want to eat or drink anything haram but I am wondering what should I do. I do not want to cut ties with my family. None of them know that I am Muslim yet, and it would be almost impossible to go to a family party that does not have these things. How can I still be a part of my family get-togethers? Also what about going to summer carnivals and 4th of July fireworks? Thank you so much for helping me, it is really weighing heavily on my mind.

Answer

Sheikh Ahmad Saad

03 July, 2020

Short Answer:

Islam is a religion that commands us to be good to our families whether they are sharing the same faith with us or not.
Keep good relations with them, and even strengthen your relations, as this will make it easier for you to speak to them about your conversion.
How Should New Muslims Deal With 4th of July and Family Parties? There is a difference between a religious holiday and secular one, and 4th of July parties, family parties, birthday parties, and similar things are commonly seen as social events and gatherings. They aim at bringing people together and strengthening their relations.

Salam dear sister,

Thank you for your question and for contacting Ask About Islam.

Let me first congratulate you on accepting Islam as a religion and a way of life.

Respect for (Non-Muslim) Family

First of all, we need to understand that Islam is a religion that commands us to be good to our families whether they are sharing the same faith with us or not.

In fact, it encourages us to have good relations with our non-Muslim family, as this will give them a good impression about Islam and may open their hearts about its teachings and remove any misconceptions.

It is reported that Asma bint Abi Bakr, the Prophet Muhammad’s sister-in-law, came to him asking about her non-Muslim mother who paid her a visit and tried to keep good relation with her and the Prophet (peace be upon him) gave her permission to do so.

In fact, the Quran speaks very positively about being nice and kind to non-Muslims who respect us and treat us justly.

To Them Their Way, To Us Ours

In this life, we treat people according to their manners and actions.

As for their faith, it is something they will be questioned about by Allah (God) in the Hereafter.

We cannot judge them or ostracize them in anyway.

With regards to your family, I advise you to keep good relations with them, and even strengthen your relations, as this will make it easier for you to speak to them about your conversion.

They will judge the news of your conversion with the background of the new impression they make from the way you treat them.

Therefore, it is very necessary to show them a change for the better in your attitude.

We do not want to be rigid; and we do not want to be unrealistic as well. Islam is the religion of moderation and practicality.

Attend Parties When Possible, Just Don’t Drink

With this said, if there is no way not to attend family parties, you may attend them as they are and make sure you are giving a message, whenever possible, that you cannot drink.

Use these opportunities to introduce Islam through your actions, and make their experience with it positive.

When you attend 4th of July parties, graduation parties, birthdays, and family barbeques, you will need to make sure that your food is halal (lawful) and you are away from alcohol.

Doing this and considering your situation, we have to be realistic as well; this realism is part of the teachings of Islam.

Religious vs. Secular Celebrations

I would like to add that there are two types of festivals; festivals that do not have any religious connotation, and festivals that represent religion.

While I will classify the first ones as secular festivals, I will call the second category the religious festivals.

There is definitely a difference between the two in terms of how permissible or impermissible it is to participate in them.

Secular festivals that have no religious connotation are fine, and there is no problem with them as long as they do not lead the person to eat, drink, or do something which is against the teachings of Islam.

But religious festivals are quite dangerous, as they relate directly to the faith of a Muslim and violate the very fact of his or her declaration of faith.

I think it is a sign of the mercy of God that the secular festivals are many, while the religious ones are not as many.

How Should New Muslims Deal With 4th of July and Family Parties?

Family parties, barbecues, graduation parties, even the fireworks event on July 4th for American Independence Day, belong to the category of secular festivals.

They do not have direct or probably indirect relation with creed or faith.

They relate more to the sense of one’s belonging to one’s own country; which is something acceptable by the teachings of Islam.

Family parties, birthday parties, and similar things are commonly seen as social events and gatherings. They aim at bringing people together and strengthening their relations.

I hope this answers your question. Please keep in touch.

Salam.

(From AboutIslam’s archives)

Read more…

What If My Family Serves Alcohol at Holiday Dinner?

5 Keys to Approach Non-Muslim Family (Watch)

Can I Attend Events Where Alcohol Is Served?

http://aboutislam.net/reading-islam/living-islam/first-summer-muslim/