My father is a Muslim, his wife as well. We have a very good relationship with each other. My father is Afghani, so we have many relatives. My relatives gossip a lot about each other.
In the time of jahilia, long time ago, my father went to a sorcerer woman. He ensured me that it is all in the past and he no longer visits her. I believed him.
One day, my aunt became sick and she told me that my father and his wife took her to the same witch. She cannot lie because she gave a very clear description of this woman. My father told her not to tell to anyone. But she told me and I'm sure she told to other relatives as well.
Right now, I'm devastated because I want to tell my parents that they should ask Allah for forgiveness, but I'm also scared that the relationship between my parents and my aunt will become very bad as my father had told her not to tell anybody. Thus, it will become a new wave of gossip and backbiting against my father among my relatives. What should I do?
Answer
In this counseling answer:
• Try speaking to your father and explain to him that it is sinful to go to a person who uses magical methods. Tell him also that relatives will start talking if they find out what he has been up to. Afghani people are very cultural and family orientated, and they take care of their family and relatives.
• If you find it hard to speak to your father about it, you can try to take him more to the mosque and make him interact with good Muslim people.
Assalam Aleikom Brother,
Thank for writing to us about your concern. I will try my best to assist you, InshAllah.
I can understand your concern and that you care about your father a lot. Your father should not be going to a sorcerer woman, as it is not the right thing to do. However, having a big family and a lot of relatives can be complicated sometimes, as they can interfere in your personal life. But it should not be the biggest concern here, as people will always talk. You have to make sure you do what is right and avoid sins.
Black Magic
Whether it is to seek help or make other things happen, going to a person who does magic and supernatural things to make things happen, can be really dangerous. It is also prohibited in Islam. You should only be seeking help from Allah, as He is the one who helps us and can solve our problems.
Witchcraft or magic is the knowledge that comes from the Shayatan (devil) and is something that they do. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“They followed what the Shayaateen (devils) gave out (falsely of the magic) in the lifetime of Sulaymaan. Sulaymaan did not disbelieve, but the Shayaateen (devils) disbelieved, teaching men magic [al-Baqarah 2:102]
“And they learn that which harms them and profits them not. And indeed they knew that the buyers of it (magic) would have no share in the Hereafter” [al-Baqarah 2:102]
On this basis, it is not permissible to use witchcraft for any purpose whatsoever. Witchcraft or magic is a falsehood, and all kinds of falsehood are kufr. Sin cannot be a means of achieving something good. Beneficial things have to be sought through the prescribed means which involve no sin and whose consequences are safe.
Backbiting
I know you are worried about what other people might say about your father, and you are also afraid that your aunt will fall out with him. Try not to think about it too much. Worrying too much will not benefit you in any way. It will only make you more stressed.
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Relatives will always have something to talk about, unfortunately, you cannot stop them from doing that.
What you can do, rather, is try speaking to your father and explain to him that it is sinful to go to a person who uses magical methods. Tell him also that relatives will start talking if they find out what he has been up to.
Remember, he is your father, and I know you respect him, so always be good in your manners and keep your voice down when having a conversation with him. You cannot be worried all the time, it is not healthy, so you have to communicate with your father. Here is an example of what you can say to him: ‘’I don’t know why you have been to the sorcerer woman again, but it is wrong and not permissible in Islam. I want you to save yourself from the sin. I love you and respect you and don’t want anyone to talk ill about you and mum.’’ Tell him about your concern and that you want him to be a good man you can look up to.
Patience
MashAllah, your parents are Muslims, so they will understand when you talk to them about your concern. Afghani people are also very cultural and family orientated, and they take care of their family and relatives. They care about their reputation and do not want others to backbite them in any way or form. Maybe your father was trying to help your auntie when she was ill by going to the sorcerer woman. It is, of course, not the right way of helping someone, but maybe he thought it was the only way he could help her.
Sometimes you can cross your limits when you try to help others. There are so many other ways to get help, the right ways. You can go to the doctors and get the medication, eat healthy, exercise, pray to Allah and ask for help. All these things can take some time and patient, and the problem in this day and age, people was quick results and want things to happen fast, unfortunately. Black magic might give quick results, but that does not mean it will be good for you. You have to learn to be patient and do things the right way. Not everything comes easy, and you need to appreciate what Allah has given you.
Good company
If you find it hard to speak to your father about it, you can try to take him more to the mosque and make him interact with good Muslim people. The company influences a person a lot and shape their thinking and perspective on things. We are all human beings and we make mistake and so did your dad, but if we repent for our mistakes and don’t do it again, Allah forgives us.
Your father made a mistake and it is important that he realizes and admits that it was wrong what he did.
You can also watch Islamic talks on YouTube with him and show him how wrong it is to go to a person who does magic, it is important you make him realize that it is completely wrong.
Be patient when talking to your father. I am sure he will understand and repent and never do it again, InshAllah.
May Allah show him the right path and ease your tension.
Ameen.
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