I wish to know, shall I allow my 22-year-old daughter to sleep alone in a room. ? I'm concerned after hearing stories of Jinns possessing and harassing young virgin girls sleeping alone. My husband is not into a physical relationship with me. Shall I keep my daughter in our room in a separate bed?
Answer
In this counseling answer:
•Let your daughter sleep in her own room in her own bed.
•Make duaa to Allah, pray for her protection and leave it with Allah. He is our best protector.
•Please do seek to rebuild your relationship with your husband.
A salaamu alaykum sister,
As I understand your question, you are concerned about your 22-year-old daughter sleeping alone in her room. You stated that you are concerned after hearing stories of Jinn possession and harassment of young virgin girls who sleep alone.
Regarding the sleeping situation sister, I would kindly suggest that you let your daughter have her own room as she’s 22 years old and she’s actually no longer a child but an adult.
Sleeping Alone
Keeping your 22-year-old adult child sleeping with you is not healthy for you, her nor your husband. As children grow into the teen years and beyond, they need their privacy and own little space if it is available. Keeping an older child in your bed because you fear for them is teaching them to be fearful as well and may even set up an emotional, mental and psychological state for illnesses such as anxiety, paranoia, fears, as well as panic disorder.
Don’t be afraid
As you are her mom, your daughter looks to you for guidance, as a role model. If you constrain her with fears, it will be stifling her. While yes, there are things we should be concerned about- things we need to take precautions over, there are however limits. Further, we also-and number one– must remember to trust in Allah.
directly.
You stated that your husband is not into a physical relationship with you. Perhaps that is because your daughter was sleeping in the same room with the two of you all these years, it may have been difficult to be intimate. When children are first born for the first few years often that bonding time does include having a child sleep with the parents however at 22 years old, it has gone beyond that.
Reconnect with Husband
Your husband’s needs and your needs have been neglected it appears. Insha’Allah that is something that can be restored and reconnected between the two of you. Having closeness and intimate times with our spouse is an important sister.
Regarding the stories that you have heard of Jinn’s possessing and harassing young virgin girls who sleep alone I am not an Islamic scholar and I’m also not familiar with these stories. I do know it can happen to anyone, but to what degree and how often it actually does happen I am not an expert.
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Please do write into our “Ask the Scholar” section for a more Islamic answer. Your concerns about your daughter is most admirable as we do want to protect our children from any dangers. However, even if this were a common issue how would you propose to protect her even if you put her in her own bed in your room, you do have to sleep sister you cannot be up all night watching her.
Our best defense against the shaitan and his dupes is a close relationship with Allah, making duaa for protection as well as dhkir,and Quran recitation. If your daughter’s not already engaged in these Islamic activities you may want to teach her. Ayat Al Kursi is also recommended to recite for protection.
I would kindly suggest sister that you let your daughter sleep in her own room in her own bed. Make duaa to Allah, pray for her protection and leave it with Allah. He is our best protector.
Please do seek to rebuild your relationship with your husband and enjoy your moments with him at night time.
While we need to take care of our children to our best ability, we also need to nurture and take care of our spouses as well.
We wish you the best you are in our prayers.
Salam,
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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.
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