I get tired with all of these, especially because my parents keep asking why I still have no job. They say that I should be more active in doing so. Also, they keep comparing me to their friends' children.
All of my friends have already got a job and I am the only one left. I wasn’t a person that easily give up, but in these two years, I feel empty. I don’t know what I should do.
My parents said this is due to my selective choose about the type of the jobs. Since I am a law graduate, I tend to stay away from any job that will lead me to do haram stuff, for example, corruption. Is it true that because I am a picky then I haven’t got any yet?
I have ideas to start my own small business, selling food or open small Muslim clothes store. But my parents don’t agree with the idea. They said they already guided me from baby to university, to be a career woman, not to become a seller. But in my country, the only job that seems halal is doing business. If I try to change my plan to build a business, does it means I’m a person that doesn’t believe in Allah because I give up on finding a real job?
Everything seems so easy for other people while it is very hard for me. I get depressed every day, and can’t even leave my room. My parents get angry at me every day too since I can’t get any job yet. They are getting old and supporting me since I don’t have any job is, of course, a burden for them. What can I do to overcome this? Your help will be very helpful for me. Thank you so much.
Answer
In this counseling answer:
• There is nothing wrong with changing your direction and moving towards entrepreneurship.
• Be open and communicate with your parents openly about the problems you face about getting an appropriate job.
• Do an Istikhara and ask Allah for guidance and help before you start your new venture.
As-Salamu Alaikum Sister,
From your post, I understand that you are having trouble in finding an appropriate job. Since you are a Law graduate, you want to get a job that does not involve lying or anything that is haraam in Islam. It is absolutely understandable that you are having a difficulty in finding a job that suits you.
You asked if changing plans means that you give up easily.
Sister, I admire your level of Emaan and your perseverance that you are not inclined to do jobs that would give temporary financial benefit to you and your family, but would not be good for you in the long term or in the Hereafter. I think you are absolutely on the right track.
Lawful earning is essential in Islam. If God Forbid, you lie for a living, it would definitely be considered as haraam income in Islam.
According to Hadith, Prophet Muhammad said,
“The body which consumes illicit (Haram) earning is a proper fuel for hellfire.” (Bukhari)
At another occasion the Prophet Muhammad said,
“Leave what makes you doubt for things that do not make you doubt.” (Tirmidhi)
Changing Paths Does Not Mean You Give Up Easily
Therefore, I think there is nothing wrong with changing your direction and moving towards entrepreneurship. You are an educated and confident girl who has the guts to face challenges as they come.
Starting your business would be a good thing. It will keep you busy and hopefully will give you better returns as compared to what you might get as a young advocate.
Involve Your Parents in Your Thought Process
Changing paths is not a weakness and definitely not when it is well-thought, well planned and has a good reason.
In your case, it seems that you have given the matter a lot of thought. However, your parents may be thinking about this from another perspective. That is, you should get a job in the subject area where you got your education and have a significant degree of expertise.
You need to show them your own perspective with regard to getting a job versus becoming an entrepreneur. I think helping them see your perspective will make them allies and make it easier for you to start your business venture.
Consider On a Mutual Agreement
Be open and communicate with your parents openly about the problems you face about getting an appropriate job. Ask them for suggestions and see if they can offer any advice you can take. Discuss all your ideas with them and ask them to share what they have in mind.
If you want to become an entrepreneur, perhaps you can choose to open a law firm? That would utilize your study and area of expertise, yet at the same time give you the freedom to deal with clients at your terms.
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You could go for a different niche such as helping women or orphans who are oppressed in society. This could also be done in the form of opening an NGO. It would yield multiple benefits; you would be utilizing your education in a way that would be helpful to the community. It would make your parents content, and it would even help you make your Akhirah.
Earning For Your Family Is Not Your Responsibility
You have also mentioned that your parents pressure you into doing a job. While it is true that they have done you a huge favor “Ehasan” by paying for your university fees and all. However, you are not entitled to be the breadwinner or financial support for the family as you are a girl. If you choose to support the family, it would be your favorite to the family in return to that of your parents supporting your education.
Have Faith in Allah
The reason you may not be getting jobs or future education opportunities could be that Allah has planned out something different for you. I would recommend you to do an Istikhara and ask Allah for guidance and help before you start your new venture.
Please, also understand that Allah is the “Raaziq” and the Sustainer. He never puts people in a test that they do not have the power to bear.
In the Quran, Allah says
“Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear…” [2:286]
Therefore, there is no need for you to get depressed or locked up in your room. Be strong and optimistic about your future and also have complete faith in Allah. Believe that He is with you. He is your Sustainer and that He will pave the way for you and your family.
Find Support for Your New Venture
It is important that you understand that starting a small business is not easy without any support or financial backup as you would need to make some investment before your business can start rolling.
You could join some local support groups and network with other ladies who are running successful small businesses. You may even consider taking some interest-free loan (if available) to start out with your business.
Starting a business is not always smooth. You may encounter many roadblocks, but with persistence and courage, you can definitely overcome them.
Build Your Resilience
Learn to remain positive in the face of adversity. Being optimistic is the backbone of any thriving project. Learn to let go of negative thoughts and remain focused on the positive. Look for the silver lining in every cloud and soon you will find yourself getting all that you want to achieve, InshaAllah.
Salam,
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