Daughter Talks Too Much About Love

23 June, 2020
Q Salamu alaikum. My daughter who is 10 is talking much about love and becomes very shy when a boy wants to play with her in the club or at school. Is this normal? I thought this age should be pure and innocent.

How can I explain to her that she can play with them and there is nothing wrong in this to feel shy about? she is still too young to think about love and this stuff. Isn't she?

Answer

In this counseling answer:

•I recommend giving an honest assessment of the child’s environment to identify where she may have gotten these messages of love. Influences come from so many places!

•I recommend asking your daughter the reasons she hesitates to play with boys. Having modesty is a good thing.

•Clear up misconceptions she may have. Ask what she believes is the best engagement between boys and girls.

•Allow her to have her innate personality. She gets to develop her own personality.


Wa ‘ Alaykum Salaam,

Ahh, the innocence of youth is something a parent wants to keep for their child! This is a good thing.

First, I recommend giving an honest assessment of the child’s environment to identify where she may have gotten these messages of love. Influences come from so many places!

I agree with you. Age 10 still has so much fun and innocence involves. Preserving it is a must.

I recommend asking your daughter the reasons she hesitates to play with boys.

Having modesty is a good thing. She may feel confused about playing with boys and having appropriate boundaries. We don’t know.

Clear up misconceptions she may have. Ask what she believes is the best engagement between boys and girls.

Daughter Talks Too Much About Love - About Islam

Lastly, this may be her personality. She may be a young girl who will be modest in the presence of boys!

If so, allow her to have her innate personality. She gets to develop her own personality. In sha‘ Allah.

Salam,

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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

Read more:

My Daughter Has Difficulties Speaking Clearly

My Shy Little Girl

About Naaila Moumaris-Clay
Naa'ila Clay, the wife of the husband-wife counseling duo "That Clay Couple", holds firm to the belief that Islam, clinical interventions, old-fashioned wit & wisdom will get the relief for your head & your heart in relationships. Mrs. Clay has a slew of training, certifications, created marriage & premarital courses, co-authored 2 e-books and has an M.S. in Mental Health Counseling. You can contact her: www.hasanandnaaila.com or www.facebook.com/thatclaycouple.