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On Being A Convert/Revert to Islam (Q&A Session)

Theresa Corbin
23 January, 2017

Asalamu Alaikum brothers and sisters, 

As people enter Islam, grow into their faith, the questions don’t stop even after a year or 20. Islam is a lifetime of learning and growing. For this reason, we are pleased to offer a live session for converts/revert to Islam who may not be so new to the deen.

This session will be dedicated to answering questions from converts/reverts who have been Muslims for some time. 

The session host will be writer and convert to Islam, Theresa Corbin. So please, jot down your questions and join us Thursday, January 26th, from 7 PM-9 PM GMT  (10 PM – 12 AM Makkah) ( 2 PM – 4 PM New York)

If you won’t be available during this time, but you have questions that need answers, don’t worry! You can email your questions in advance to [email protected], and our counselor will include them in the Live Session. 

Thursday, Jan. 26, 2017 | 22:00 - 23:59 GMT

Session is over.

Asalamu Alaikum, I have been Muslim for some time and I still find it hard to make friends with Muslims. What do you suggest I should do?



Asalamu Alaikum,

Thank you for your question to which I am sure many people will also be wondering the answer. Since most of us who come to Islam do so in adulthood, we have already established friends through school and work and are not accustom to going outside of these circles to seek friends. But it is essential for Muslims to have other Muslim friends who can encourage them toward good. The Prophet demonstrated in a hadith what a huge impact having righteous friends (and friends who call us to not so righteous actions) can have on us:

The likeness of a righteous friend and an evil friend, is the likeness of a (musk) perfume seller and a blacksmith. As for the perfume seller, he may either bestow something on you, or you may purchase something from him, or you may benefit from his sweet smell. And as for the blacksmith, he may either burn your clothes, or you may be exposed to his awful smell. (Bukhari and Muslim)

This is not to say that non-Muslims friends are necessarily bad for us. We just have to keep in mind that they may have impermissible habits and different priorities than practicing Muslim friends will. So how do we, as converts, make new Muslim friends? Some might simply say, go where the Muslims are. But it may take a bit more effort than just showing up at jumuah.

So try going where the Muslims are and getting involved. I find this is a more proactive way to making new Muslim friends, inshaAllah. Getting involved in community activities will be a natural way to interact and get to know people, and ultimately make Muslim friends. Volunteer to help serve the iftar during Ramadan.

Sign up for the masjid’s volunteering efforts if there are any. If not, suggest to the masjid board that they get involved in feeding the homeless, and offer to help organize such activities if you have the time. Whenever you are around people and interacting (which doesn’t always happen at jumuah), friendship will happen naturally, as they did when you were in school or when you are at work. It just takes a little creativity to find ways to be around and interact with fellow Muslim, since in the West (assuming you are in the West), Muslims do not make up a large segment of the population.

If there is no masjid near you, you can always join a convert support group online to at least have a friend online with whom you can share your experiences and seek advice from. Facebook is a great resource for this.

I hope this helps. Please keep in touch. 

Salam.

Salam, things are getting really hard for me to handle. I feel like I want to leave Islam because there is one sin I just cannot break. What should I do?



Walaikum Asalam,

I am sorry to hear that you are struggling. First of all, we should never ever define ourselves by our sins. People are redeemable. Allah is the Most Forgiving. No matter what, your sin cannot compare to Allah’s forgiveness.

And if you really examine your situation, and indeed the situation of humankind, you might come to understand that leaving Islam does not solve your problem, because leaving Islam does not absolve you from accountability. No matter what, you (and indeed all of us) will still be accountable on the Day of Judgement. In fact, if you abandon your faith so that you can sin, you are committing two sins. The sin you have in mind and the most grave of all sins, disbelief.  

So you need to ask yourself, do you really disbelieve? Do you truly not believe in your Creator and Sustainer because you have a desire to do the haram? Or is it just that you want to feel free from the guilt of the sin you feel compelled to commit? If it is just that you cannot keep away from the sin, then you should know that as long as you are a Muslim who does not associate partners with Allah, the doors of forgiveness and mercy are wide open. Allah does not expect us to be perfect. He knows we are flawed. He created us that way so that we would turn to Him for forgiveness. In fact, Allah loves the flawed servant who turns to Him in repentance. 

There are many, many Muslims who have been in your position. In fact there was a companion of the Prophet (PBUH) who was an alcoholic and he just could not give up drinking. Do you think the Prophet told him that he couldn’t be a Muslim? No. The Prophet said that even though this companion of his couldn’t give up the sin of drinking, he still loved Allah and His messenger i.e. was a Muslim. The Prophet even defended him when others tried to curse him for his sin of drinking.

As long as you are trying to do your best to stay away from sinning and seek Allah’s forgiveness if you slip, Allah will forgive you. After the prophets, there is no such thing as a Muslim who is free from sin or free from the desire to commit sins. Also, do not think it is impossible to give up the sin you have an addiction to, with the help of Allah all things are possible. Stay on the path of Islam, seeking nearness to Allah through supplication, salah, fasting, and repentance, and Allah will strengthen you. I know this is a reality from personal experience.

I hope this helps. Please keep in touch.

Salam.

Saalam, I have been Muslim for a year now and I still feel like I have so much more to learn. Will I ever come to a point where I feel like I know everything about Islam?



Asalamu Alaikum,

Thank you for such a great question. I know in the early days after I converted, I felt pretty confident that I could learn everything about Islam. Now that I have spent nearly 2 decades studying Islam (some of those years of study were before I converted), I am certain I will never know everything.

My father used to say, the more you know, the more you know that you don’t know. This made little sense to me as a child, but as I grew in Islam, it came into focus. We cannot know everything. We are limited beings, and the more we discover about the universe, the more we realize there is so much more to know. This is my feeling about Islamic knowledge these days. The more I learn, the more I realize that I really don’t know much. 

With that being said, I did come to a point where I felt as if I had enough knowledge to competently live my deen. And I also know that if a question arises that is outside of my scope, scholars are available to seek help and learn from. And if you keep learning and growing in Islam, you too will soon come to a place (if you haven’t already) where you feel you have enough knowledge to practice your deen fully, feeling assured that scholars are nearby to learn and seek help from if you have a question. If you do not know any scholars (you can try to talk to the imam of your masjid) or people with a lot of Islamic knowledge, you can always use our Ask the Scholar counseling service.

Not every Muslim can become a scholar, or know everything about Islam, but we can all know what we need to navigate our lives as a Muslims. It’s the same for many other areas of our life. Not everyone will become a medical doctor, but we can learn enough to know what we need to do in order to treat our bodies well. And if an issue comes up, we can seek help from those who know more. 

The great thing about Islam is that the belief is easily grasped by anyone, and the acts of worship are easy enough to be incorporated into any life. But for those who wish to explore deeper, there is a lifetime of learning available. And I encourage you to never stop learning. Knowledge brings enrichment into our lives. May Allah grant you beneficial knowledge that will bring you success in this life and the next. 

I hope this helps. Please keep in touch. 

Salam. 

I have heard two different thoughts on sins prior to Islam. Some say all sins are forgiven. While some say certain sins are not. Which is it? And if some are not forgiven, what is the criteria?



Asalamu Alaikum,

Thank you asking such a pertinent question. When we come into Islam, Allah forgives us of our sins that are associated with not giving Him His rights as our Creator and Sustainer (shirk) and sins that involve harming our own selves. For example, when we leave the worship of other false deities, and make the testament of faith, Allah forgives us the shirk we committed prior to the shahadah.

Also, if we ate pork or drank alcohol or committed other sins that are harmful to us (as all sins are harmful to our souls) prior to Islam, Allah forgives us of those sins as well when we enter Islam. But if we have taken the rights or harmed others by our sins (this also hurts us), it is an Islamic principle that we should seek forgiveness from both Allah and those we have harmed.

If we have harmed others or taken other’s rights prior to Islam, we should make amends and seek to make things right with those we have hurt. This is not only crucial in keeping good ties with kith and kin, it is also good dawah, and healing for us. However, I am not sure if sins that are associated with hurting others are absolved or not when entering Islam, but it is always a good practice to seek forgiveness from those we have hurt. For a more complete answer, please send a query into About Islam’s Ask the Scholar service about this issue since my knowledge on the topic is limited. 

Please keep in touch.

Salam.