Now, I feel my life is so empty and I have begun to snap at the children sometimes. It is not their fault and I try to apologize when I do so.
I know it is wrong in Islam and I know that my children need me. What should I do?
Answer
In this counseling answer:
•Make a list of things you would like to do, whether it is taking up a new hobby, taking a class in a subject you are interested in.
• Also, as it appears the children are of school age, take this opportunity to do enjoyable and social things.
•Again, forming friendships with the sisters at the Masjid and surrounding area will provide friends for you to do things with.”
As-salamu alaykum sister,
I am so sad to hear of your isolation and frustrations. It is not easy being a single mom, I know. While I am not sure if you have family around. If you do, certainly having them stay with the children while you get some “self time” would be helpful.
Seek Social Support
I would highly suggest insha’Allah that you check out your local Masjid or Islamic center and see if they have Single Mom’s groups.
If they do, by joining you will make new friends, have support from other single moms. And be able to plan social events with other single mom’s wherein you can enjoy yourself and begin to feel less isolated.
Also, check out your local meetup.com for social outings for single mothers, just make sure there are halal outings such as women’s hiking.
I would also kindly suggest dear sister that you make a list of things you would like to do. Whether it is taking up a new hobby, taking a class in a subject you are interested in or going to a gym to workout-make your list and commit to doing at these two things a week.
Also, as it appears the children are of school age, take this opportunity to do enjoyable and social things with them.
Again, forming friendships with the sisters at the Masjid and surrounding area will provide friends for you to do things with.
You may even want to work a part-time job. Not only will this provide extra money but maybe satisfying if you are inclined towards a certain career or job interest.
Help others
Lastly, get involved with charity work in your local Islamic community. You will be helping others who are in need as well as helping yourself by getting out. And doing something with others which will bring much joy and clarity.
Check out this counseling video
Conclusion
These years are not easy, especially alone-but you do not have to be lonely and isolated. There are many ways to get involved in life. And create a balance wherein you are less stressed and less alone.
Insha’allah you will take the steps towards creating the life which will bring you joy. Be creative in your thinking sister and insha’Allah Allah will grant ease!
Salam,
***
Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information that was provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, it’s volunteers, writers, scholars, counselors, or employees be held liable for any direct, indirect, exemplary, punitive, consequential or other damages whatsoever that may arise through your decision or action in the use of the services which our website provides.
Read more