Many days, I get so lazy that I delay my prayers. I’ve never told this to anyone, but I am currently still fighting against myself. At times, I succeed, but most of the time I am a loser. Help me how to be consistent in jihad against myself/ nafs and how to be consistent in doing worship.
Answer
In this counseling answer:
• Women, in particular, overeat due to boredom, feeling deprived, comfort eating, a dislike of their body (self-sabotage), anxiety, depression and a myriad of other reasons.
• Write down what you are feeling right before you eat a meal or reach for that tasty looking sweet. Also, write down how you felt while you were eating, and how you felt afterward.
• I would suggest dear sister that you cut your meal portions as well as snack on healthy foods and reduce your intake of the sugar.
• Set your mind to focus on your ability to be able to do it, and do it.
As-Salamu ‘Alaikum sister,
Thank you for your question. Our nafs (soul/self) is no doubt one of the hardest things to overcome. Your issues with laziness and overeating possibly go hand in hand in your case. If one overeats, it makes us sleepy and the body tired, especially if it is a high carb meal.
There could be several reasons why you don’t feel satisfied after a meal. According to Divine Glowing Health “Sometimes when you overeat, your stomach gets manipulated and doesn’t know what’s hunger and full anymore, so even when you have eaten a big meal that is enough for a dinner, your stomach may not agree and tell you that it’s still hungry. If you eat a big plate of food and find that you feel hungry afterward, try and see what you can do to curb that hunger because chances are, your body may have lost the concept of “fullness”.” So, sister, in this regards, you may have to consult with a doctor on how to reset your satiety issues which originate partly, in the hypothalamus.
Additionally, there are several reasons why people overeat. Women, in particular, overeat due to boredom, feeling deprived, comfort eating, a dislike of their body (self-sabotage), anxiety, depression and a myriad of other reasons.
Keep a Daily Journal
Sister, I suggest in sha’ Allah that you keep a daily journal. Write down what you are feeling right before you eat a meal or reach for that tasty looking sweet. Also, write down how you felt while you were eating, and how you felt afterward. I ask in sha’ Allah that you do this for a month to see if there is a correlation between your emotions and your eating habits.
Often times, journaling our feelings concerning a life event and issues we are having helps us to identify the root cause of the problem. Sometimes, when we are depressed or feeling lonely or there is some other malfunction in our life, we try to fill that void, that hurt with other things such as food. While you did not mention if you were experiencing any of these or other issues, I ask that you do some inner self-searching to see if you may be depressed and if you are please see a counselor in your area.
Check out this counseling video:
In order to be consistent in fighting nafs, as with anything else in life, you have to put conscious effort into it. You have to REALLY want it. For instance, if you feel you are lazy and cannot get up for work or school, set your alarm and when it goes off, immediately sit up in bed.
Think about the positive rewards for getting up and going to work/school. Set your mind to focus on your ability to be able to do it, and do it. Stop using phrases like “I can’t” as it can become a self-fulfilling prophesy when we constantly negate our good efforts. State “I can.” When you do succeed at something that is hard for you, reward yourself with positive affirmations. These can be doing or buying something you enjoy such that perfume or hijab you always wanted.
I would suggest dear sister that you cut your meal portions as well as snack on healthy foods and reduce your intake of the sugar. You state that you cannot control your eating, however, in sha’ Allah, if you realize the detriment it can have on your health as well as the current detriment it has on your obligatory prayers, I am sure it will be important enough to you to change your self-internalized loss of control into one that is more empowering.
Sister, I ask you to take the steps necessary to empower and improve your lifestyle concerning eating and the ensuing laziness by doing the list of emotions, following up with your physician to rule out any health problems, as well as seeing a nutritionist to help you devise a healthy eating pattern. Also, ask for Allah’s guidance in prayer, make du’aa’ and read Qur’an.
Regarding getting closer to Allah and being consistent in worshipping Him, kindly find some useful tips below.
Salam,
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