My parents are sick and all he does is fight and argue!They really do not know what to do, therefore I am the one who is asking. I am 16, and I try to avoid him just to stop a fight but the water pot will explode! Please Help
Answer
In this counseling answer:
•You need to speak with your parents and address your concerns regarding your desire for a healthy home as well as your fears for yourself, your brother, and your family unit.
•You may want to get the number of a rehabilitation service in your area and give it to him so that if and when he is ready to change his life, HE may do so.
•Keep good close friends around you, an open dialogue with your parents, and most of all keep a good relationship with Allah Most High.
As-salamu `alaikum,
You are describing a very difficult and painful experience to go through because you parents are sick and your brother has a drug problem and you are in need of a more peaceful environment. While his drug problem is troubling your life greatly, it is ultimately his choice to stop.
Drug abuse is a complicated addiction that leaves families unsure about how to intervene. The choice to use drugs is not the family’s but the family is nonetheless wound up in the pain and turmoil that accompanies drug abuse.
Given your young age, I think that it would be a very trying task for you to seek out interventions for him and encourage him to realize his addiction. In addition, any attempts on your part to “save” him would likely increase the chance of your water pot exploding, as you say. Because the fights are causing you a lot of pain, you need to watch out for yourself.
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You need to speak with your parents and address your concerns regarding your desire for a healthy home as well as your fears for yourself, your brother, and your family unit. I realize that you may have feelings of guilt when it comes to watching out for yourself, but drug abuse is not a simple matter and many times runs people into very dark and ugly places.
Using drugs is his choice and he is refusing treatment. You cannot hold your breath and your life in hopes that he will stop. You may want to get the number of a rehabilitation service in your area and give it to him so that if and when he is ready to change his life, HE may do so. When your brother is ready for drug rehabilitation your familial support will be very important.
For now, the decision to keep him in the house or to check him in to rehabilitation is one that your parents need to make. In the meantime, you need to live and prosper as best you can. Keep good close friends around you, an open dialogue with your parents, and most of all keep a good relationship with Allah Most High.
I pray that Allah will help you mend your family into one that is stronger than it once was and that Allah may guide your brother to a path of less harm.
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