When I Thought There Was No Way Out

My path to Islam, I believe, began the day I was born.

I was born into an American family in California, who did not want me.

My mother was living with her future husband’s family and she and her future father-in-law were having a relationship of some sort while her future husband was in the military. I was a result of that relationship.

She and their son eventually did get married, but I stayed with my “grandparents” never knowing my “grandfather” was my real father. I never knew this until 3 years ago. And it tore my life apart for a time.

I feel that Allah was watching over me from my birth moment because He knew that those people wished me to not even be here at all and I believe He had plans for my life.

I never thought much about it. I went on with my life. I was a very obedient child and teenager. I never challenged them in any way in life. However, when I met my future husband and he was black and they were white and they hated both him and his family, things started to fall apart between myself and my family.

I didn’t let their racist views stop me from marrying the man I loved. But, my family did all in their power to prevent it. We had 3 children. We went to church all our married life and raised our children in a Christian church and environment.

Life Went on…

Fast forwarding my life, I had a very bad fall on my church’s property. I had many injuries. I fell in a big hole, at night, down a hill. I was badly injured.

However, I could not seem to get any help. The church would not talk to me. The medical center where I live would not see me. My medical insurance would not pay for my treatment, unless I had an attorney because it was a “liability” fall.

So, I went without treatment for over two months. My shoulder had come out of the socket, my foot was broken, I hit my head and also my right elbow and my left knee was injured. It was bad…

So, after all of my attempts to get help and treatment failed, I began to search for an attorney to sue the church and make them help me. Well, this started me down a very interesting path as every attorney I called and/or visited said the very same words to me; “You’re not suing a church are you?!!”

This went on for another two months. My injuries were getting worse. My shoulder was actually frozen and I was in horrific pain with spasms in my shoulder and right side that I almost couldn’t bear.

One day, I was looking through the yellow pages one more time at attorney’s numbers and I saw one I had not seen before. I thought, OK, I will try this one. So, I called. A man answered the phone. He was very pleasant to me.

I told him my story and how I couldn’t find any attorney to take my case. He said to me, “Oh, this is terrible! You should not have been left lying on their property!”

I asked the attorney: “Are you Jewish?” He told me “No I am not, I am from Saudi Arabia.” He told me he would be glad to take my case. I was so shocked I could hardly speak but also very happy about it.

I will say that he was one of the most beautiful people I have ever known, so kind and helpful. One thing that surprised me was that even though he was not Christian, he would never allow me to say a bad thing about the church. He would say to me, “Oh! Let us not talk about them like this.”

Of course, I had no problem with talking about them like that! I felt they should not only help me with my medical care, but also pay me compensation for my injuries as I could not work in my normal profession as a nurse any longer.

I will say that my attorney was the most kind and good person I ever knew in my life. I can now see so clearly his Islamic personality even though at that time I didn’t know anything about Islam. I couldn’t even understand being like he was.

I now know that the whole experience was a huge test given by Allah. My very bad fall was a test for the church and for the insurance companies and for the medical centers and doctors and my family and me. Many failed.

I Thought I Knew God…

I was getting closer to the Straight Path, but not quite yet…

One thing that I now know which I never thought of then, is what a self-less and godly person my attorney actually was. I didn’t even think of the fact that he worked very hard for me in that case for almost a year.

However, he quit my case to protect me from the ugliness he knew I would face in court, and he knew I would win more money by what he did…but, he got nothing.

He went for justice and did that without arrogance, passing by falsehood and futility with honor! It is my hope that he gets many rewards in Paradise for what he did for me.

In 2006, on my birthday, my daughter put me on Myspace. At first, I didn’t even look at it. After a while, however, I started to look and I began to befriend people. And, my path led me to the site of a civil rights hero of mine and from there I befriended a person who taught me about Islam.

I also read many blogs and bulletins about Islam and watched many videos about Islam. After many months, one beautiful and memorable day, the Shahadah was sent to me right here on my computer and I said it.

It was the happiest day of my life. I had no trouble whatever grasping the sturdy handhold that Allah held out to me.

I love Islam more than anything in my life. It has given me a peace and understanding, I never had before. Islam has taught me how to turn all the pain of the past over to Allah and let it go.

Forgiveness was very hard for me to understand. I am a work in progress. Alhamdulilah!!

I thank my attorney, and everyone who had anything in their Myspace sites or blogs, for what they taught me about Islam.

I especially thank a beautiful sister from Pakistan who gave me a copy of the Quran and some other wonderful books in a beautiful gift bag. I met her through the Islamic Center where I live.

All Praises be to Allah Most High, Most Gracious, Most Merciful, for guiding me to Islam…

Islam is my Life. Paradise is my Goal.