Q:

Assalamu alaikum. Most of the people use the explanation of surah baqarah verse 222 in sunnan  Abu dawud kitab Al nikkah chapter 712 to argue that men can have sex with women whenever and however he wants. Even without her permission.

Can you please give me the right explanation of this verse?

A:

Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh.

In the Name of Allah, the All-Merciful, the Mercy-Giving.

All praise is due to Allah. Peace and blessings be upon His Prophet Muhammad.

I think you mean verse number 2:223, not 2:222, which reads what means “Your [lawful] women are a tillage for you. So come to your tillage as you will.  Yet advance for your souls. And fear Allah! And know that you will, most surely, meet Him. So give glad tidings to the believers.” (Al-Baqarah 2:223)

I also suppose that the hadith you refer to is the one that states, “If a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses and he thus spends the night angry with her, the angels will keep cursing her till the morning.” (Abu Dawud)

There is an agreement among Muslim scholars that a wife has to obey her husband when he calls her to bed and that if she disobeys, she becomes sinful unless she has a legitimate reason, such as being sick or busy with fulfilling another Shariah obligation.

Satisfying sexual desire is one of the principal purposes of marriage and is a mutual right for both spouses. Of course, this should be done on mutual consent between spouses; but if, in some instances, one of them is not willing to engage in the sexual relation while the other is in need of it, the former should help the latter satisfying such a desire as far as possible for fear of the consequences of sexual frustration.

For more about misconceptions regarding women issues in Islam, please check here:

Women Inferior or Hadiths Misinterpreted? (Fatwa Session)

Allah knows best.