I am trying to be understanding, but I am getting tensed as well because of him. I do not know how to help him.
He does not talk much, does not want to talk, many times shuts me up, asks me to close all voice as he wants to relax.
Anything I say annoys him. It was getting better a bit, but then we had a small fight which made him have panic attacks again.
shortage of breathing, lack of eating, all day he is working on his laptop from bed, does not move much….i want to hug him, he refuses….what can I do with him?
Answer
In this counseling answer:
It is normal to go into withdrawal because of fear.
Be supportive of him without provoking him to talk.
Seek teleconference therapy to deal with his fear and anxiety.
As salamu alaykum,
Thanks for writing to us.
Sister, it sounds like your husband is trying to cope with his fears and panic disorder by withdrawing and focusing on work or keeping busy. Perhaps outside stimulation irritates his panic more thus he desires solitude.
Helping Husband
Sister I would kindly suggest that you not press your husband at this point but do offer you love and support.
Maybe offer him tea, or a treat while he is at the computer, sit quietly, maybe offer to pray with him. Insha’Allah, right now try not to engage him in a lot of stimulus unless he seeks it out.
Often times when one is over stimulated by fear, panic, or worry, other interaction-stimulus is too much. Don’t take it personal sister, its not you, it is a survival mode for him.
He knows you love him and your quiet presence will be comforting. If he feels like talking, just listen and be encouraging.
Conclusion
Please talk to your husbands doctor about his condition of fear and panic disorder, request a counselor if he does not have one.
Try not to have running news on about the covid-19 as it will be anxiety producing for him.
Insha’Allah sister try to be calming and supportive of him during this time, offering reassurance in a gentle way.
Sister, learn as much as you can about anxiety & panic so you know what to expect and how to deal with situations.
Insha’Allah his doctor can assist with a teleconference for therapy or medication. Insha’Allah sister this will be over soon and things will become more manageable. We wish you the best.
salam,
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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees are liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.
Read More:
https://aboutislam.net/counseling/ask-the-counselor/mental-health/covid-19-has-become-my-nightmare/
https://aboutislam.net/reading-islam/living-islam/comfort-of-the-heart-vs-comfort-of-the-body/
https://aboutislam.net/counseling/ask-the-counselor/marital-obstacles/get-husband-talk/