Answer
Short Answer:
- Adopting elderly and experienced scholars as guides – whether spiritual or secular – is a common practice Islam encourages.
- A student need not become “the son of a particular spiritual father” as it were; rather he or she can seek the help and support of more than one teacher as well.
- Also, they can even differ from the views of their chosen teacher if they feel so; that is, if they are convinced that they have a good reason.
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Salam Sister,
Thank you for your question and for contacting Ask About Islam.
What is Spiritual Parenting?
Spiritual parenting is a concept that is understood in different ways by different religious communities. For most people – irrespective of their religious persuasion – spiritual parenting is about bringing up their children as faithful adherents of their respective religion.
One may say it is an effort to help and train our children to be “the people they are divinely intended to be”.
For instance, one may consider an influential work on Spiritual Parenting in Judaism by Rabbi Paul Kipnes and Michelle November entitled: Jewish Spiritual Parenting: Wisdom, Activities, Rituals, and Prayers for Raising Children with Spiritual Balance and Emotional Wholeness.
This is a very insightful book on raising children and maintaining a sense of Jewish identity. This means that for the Jews, spiritual parenting is essentially a way of raising children to be good members of the Jewish community.
The Christian Concept of Spiritual Parenting
But for most American Christians (i.e Evangelical Protestants) spiritual parenting is not a task undertaken by the actual biological parents. Rather it is a duty taken up by someone who is inspired to be a spiritual guide to a youngster.
A spiritual father (or mother) in this view is a person moved by a sense of “divinely appointed” mission to serve as a mentor, trainer, and teacher to his or her protégé.
From this point of view, this is not a duty that can be performed by the youngster’s actual parents. Because only a spiritual parent can help a boy or girl under their tutelage to “hear God’s voice and make decisions on their own with confidence.”
The Duties of a Spiritual Parent
The duties of a spiritual parent can be summarized in these words: They should:
1. Understand your gifting, calling and assignment and season you are in.
2. Release resources, wisdom, and information on how to accomplish your assignment.
3. Pray for you, bring correction and bring spiritual encouragement.
4. Mentor you, train you and release you into your identity and purpose.
5. Teach you to hear God’s voice and make decisions on your own with confidence.
(https://askdoctorfaith.com/2015/05/06/what-is-a-spiritual-parent-and-why-do-you-need-one/ )
It is noteworthy that the Catholics (the largest Christian denomination in the world) use the expression “(spiritual) father” to refer to their priests, and to support this they cite the same Biblical verses quoted by the proponents of the Evangelical Church.
But they do not hold the view that a person outside the clergy can be a spiritual father to the laity in the same sense as a father of the Church. This is quite understandable in the case of the Catholic Church, which has a powerful hierarchical system of priests.
The Evangelical Protestants cite St Paul’s teaching “not to rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father” and to treat “older women as mothers.” For them, this is strong Biblical evidence in support of taking spiritual parents for one’s growth in the spiritual realm. (https://www.patheos.com/blogs/markdriscoll/2019/11/spiritual-parents/ )
Islam’s View of Spiritual Parents
We need to examine the Quran and the Sunnah of the Prophet (which are the two sources of Islam), to look for any mention of spiritual parenting. There we see no teaching that declares taking spiritual parents as highly recommended for youngsters.
But at the same time, there is nothing there to state that spiritual parenting (in the sense of a scholar serving as a spiritual guide or mentor) is an undesirable task.
We find that many Muslim students while pursuing a course of Islamic study, accept a particular scholar or teacher as a source of guidance or knowledge.
For this purpose a student need not become “the son of a particular spiritual father” as it were; rather he or she can seek the help and support of more than one teacher as well.
Also, they can even differ from the views of their chosen teacher if they feel so; that is, if they are convinced that they have a good reason.
In modern times researchers need to take scholars in their respective fields of study as research guides. This is required by universities for registration and official recognition. So for all practical purposes, adopting elderly and experienced scholars as guides – whether spiritual or secular – is a common practice Islam encourages.
And Allah knows best.
I hope this helps.
Salam and please keep in touch.
Please continue feeding your curiosity, and find more info in the following links:
Can a Muslim Be a Godfather to a Christian Boy?
Please Guide Me: I’m a New Convert In Search of a Mentor
https://aboutislam.net/reading-islam/about-muhammad/the-wise-mentor-the-enthusiastic-companion/