Answer
Short Answer:
- Congratulations sister. You can have a private “room” erected for yourself, with temporary barriers, near the main party area.
- As soon as you see some men approaching, you can get up and go into this “room”.
- You can have special requests included in small print at the bottom/inside flap of the wedding card. Such as, “We request you to kindly respect the privacy of the bride at the event, by not taking any photographs/videos of her. Thank you!“.
- In addition, you can have a picturesque notice printed and hung at the entrance of the ladies’ section. This could remind all incoming guests, in large print, to not take photographs inside. Make sure the wording is polite, and the placard is beautifully adorned. Most Muslims respect such reminders and endeavor to obey them.
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Asalaamu alaykum, and thank you for sending in your question to our website.
Congratulations, sister, on your upcoming nuptials. May Allah bless your marital union. Your concern for observing the rules of Islam during your wedding celebrations is commendable. I ask Allah to grant you ease and to facilitate your wishes. Ameen.
Planning Wedding Tip 1: Solicit the help of sympathetic family members and/or friends
During most Pakistani wedding festivities, a bride does little except sit still and look pretty. Especially once she is ready. All the “work” viz. managing the events, is done by her close family members and friends.
Therefore, if you wish to implement the rules of hijab on your wedding events, you will need the help of such family member(s) or friend(s).
Try to get these people on board beforehand. It could be a parent, sibling, cousin, childhood friend, or combinations thereof. Ask them to be on alert during the festivities, to preempt any breach of your privacy. E.g. to request people not to take pictures of you with their phones. To “usher” non-mahram males away, preventing them from coming where they can see you. They can also drape your extra veil (“dupatta“) over your head, when the groom enters along with other men.
Whether you cover your hair with a hijab, or leave it uncovered, is your choice. Stick to that which will be easier for you, practically.
Planning Wedding Tip 2: Temporary party barriers
Erecting temporary barriers during an event or party often works wonders for maintaining privacy. Usually, event managers, caterers, laborers, waiters, and chefs work from behind such skillfully erected barriers.
These are often strategically placed around an event, to direct the movement of guests. One purpose is to also ensure that the guests cannot see those working ‘behind the scenes’.
This is one factor that can help you tremendously, as the bride. You can have a private “room” erected for yourself, with such temporary barriers, near the main party area.
As soon as you see some men approaching, you can get up and go into this “room”. For this reason, I suggest that you not don very heavy attire or high heels. As these can hamper your movement. Inside this room, you can fix your makeup, eat and drink, or have a private word with someone, if need be.
In lieu of the same, you can consider foregoing an elevated stage as well. This will ensure that you cannot be seen from a distance. Not having to descend a stage each time, will also let you enter your ‘private room’ whenever you want to.
Planning Wedding Tip 3: Let your wishes be known through the invitation cards
You can be creative with the Pakistani wedding invitation cards that are customarily sent out in advance. For example, you can have special requests included in small print at the bottom/inside flap of the card. Such as, “We request you to kindly respect the privacy of the bride at the event, by not taking any photographs/videos of her. Thank you!“.
In addition, you can have a picturesque notice printed and hung at the entrance of the ladies’ section. This could remind all incoming guests, in large print, to not take photographs inside. Make sure the wording is polite, and the placard is beautifully adorned. Most Muslims respect such reminders and endeavor to obey them.
Of course, for this, you will need to have the permission of the elders of your family, beforehand. So work on that right now.
Be brave and proactive, sister. Please keep in mind that you can make your wedding a form of da’wah. Do not be afraid to be the change that you want to see. Think outside the box.
Even celebrities are creative when it comes to their weddings. They break so-called “rules” and try new things. Many people have successfully discarded rigid cultural norms at their weddings. So why can’t a Muslim use their wedding to initiate a positive trend?
Who knows, your efforts could inspire other hijab-observing girls to take similar steps on their weddings, too. And this will help you to earn ongoing rewards, inshaÁllah.
After all is done, trust in Allah
Sister, keep making immense dua to Allah, to help you. Pray salatul hajah for this purpose, preferably before Fajr, every day. Remember that nothing can happen except with the will of Allah. He knows your sincerity of intention and your desire to obey Him. Nevertheless, we cannot always control the actions of other people, especially elders.
Therefore, if, Allah forbid, your guests end up crossing any limits, do not show a negative reaction. Maintain your composure at all times during your wedding. Remain patient and calm, knowing that you did all in your power to prevent transgressions.
I pray that Allah grants you a very happy married life. Aameen.
And Allah knows best.
I hope that this answers your question.
Salam. Please stay in touch.
Please continue feeding your curiosity, and find more info in the following links:
https://aboutislam.net/counseling/ask-about-islam/observe-hijab-wedding/